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How do I stop my step dad bullying me?

Tagged as: Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 April 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 15 July 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My step dad always says nasty and spiteful things to me. He belittles me and tells me that I'm going to fail school because I'm too stupid and he also tells me that I'm never gonna get a girlfriend because no woman would want me, my mom hears him and laughs.

I told my sisters who's moved out and she spoke to him but now he mocks me about that and says I need to man up. Somedays I just cry (pathetic for a 15 year old guy) but I just feel so low some days and only my sister really cares and I only see her once a week.

View related questions: get a girlfriend, moved out

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A male reader, richieh United Kingdom +, writes (15 July 2010):

In all honesty, there is nothing you can do. I went through that throughout my entire childhood, ended up in care for several years because my stepdad was a nasty bastard. I am 30 now and it still affects me especially as my so called mother who was so accepting of his abusive behaviour has nothing to do with me but is still married to him even though he had several affairs behind her back and gave her a few slaps. The best you can do is get a good education, go to college and get the life you want for yourself and put it all behind you. Trust me mate it makes sense. I could go on forever with this, but this is just the very very basics. Be cool man :)

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (25 April 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntTalk to your school counselors that you are being mentally abused by your step father and they will advise you or will speak to him over this matter.

Another way is to tell your step father to back off or you will go to social service or the police and report him for mental abuse.

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (25 April 2010):

QuirkLady agony auntI'm so sorry that you're going through this. Your stepdad shouldn't be treating you this way...it's bullying, plain and simple. I wish your mom was defending you but it doesn't seem that way. It would be good for you to get away from this man - is there any way you can move and live with your sister for a while?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010):

tell him to stop annoying you, and to find something else to do. my step always hurt me, bullied me too. so i told him to stfu and walked away to my mom. :D

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A male reader, C. Grant Canada +, writes (25 April 2010):

C. Grant agony auntAs a father with a son, I do understand the 'man up' comment -- at some point we do have to develop thick skins to deal with the world. From how you describe your step-father, his approach isn't helping you to do that at all. If he's well-intentioned then he's doing a poor job of it. Or he might just be a complete jerk.

For starters, your mom should be running interference for you with this guy. Talk to her alone and tell you how this is making you feel. Your home should be a safe and happy place for you, and it's her job to see that it's that way.

Are there any men in your world you can talk to? Do you have a relationship with your father? Is there an uncle or grandfather? You need someone on your side.

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2010):

aphexinfinite agony auntits not pathetic at all sweety. their have been many cases like yourself and sometimes its because your step dad doesnt like the attention you recieve from your mother. you and her will always be close and sometimes men like to be the alpha male and dominate other males.. your mother does love you maybe she is unsure how to deal with this... here is a helpline that may be able to help you even if it is for advice or comfort. do not let his words hurt you because im sure you are a smart young man and that you will get a girl he is just a nasty miserable man do not listen to him listen to your sister! http://www.nspcc.org.uk/under18/Under18HubPage_wda33341.html

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