A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my current boyfriend for about 2 months now. I have met his family and friends.He hasn't met mine due to scheduling and distance issue but, that will be changing soon. I see him about once or twice a week because we live an hour away within the same state. My parents haven't met him yet. My mother due to her work schedule and my dad because after my last relationship said he didn't want to meet any of my bf's. Well recently my mother has become really nasty towards me and wants me to end the relationship and has even openly said me and my boyfriend should just remain friends. She has accused me of not being where I say I am,Told me i need to come home even though i have only been gone for an hour and even made me cancel a date short notice due to her objections. I explained to her I am 21 years old and I understand house rules but She can't control my social life. I have asked her to meet him and he has even asked to meet my family. But she refuses and makes excuses. She judged him by a few old facebook photos he had up where he was just goofing around with his camera and making silly faces. My boyfriend thinks she doesn't like him because he is caucasian (I'm African American) I told him that isn't the case but he believe it is. This problem has always been an issue with me and my mother and has caused me to miss out on relationships and my last relationship to end. I thought she would be happy for meeting a nice guy and coming out of my shell. I am very shy and have trouble meeting guys. It seems like she is upset because of it. I am looking for a full-time job so I can leave my part-time job and save up to get my own place. I feel that If i don't, every relationship I have will crumble due to her paranoia. Just to add, I give my mother the upmost respect. I rarely go out with friends, When me and my boyfriend see each other he brings me home by 7pm at the latest. I have a job, Not a smoker, druggie or a drinker. I have NEVER did anything to make my mother act this way. She has even told me I am a good daughter. I just don't know how to approach this with out her getting upset with me.
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female
reader, harleygirl2010 +, writes (4 August 2011):
 I understand the feeling. I have had my parents do the same to me. The only big differences is that i am a year younger and i live in the same city. It is a tough thing to bring up without some argument arising. The best thing i would say is to go ahead and bring it up, but bring it up as tactfully as you possibly can. If she gets angry and explodes stay as calm with her and don't yell back. Just sit down with her and talk about it and be as calm and tactful as you possibly can. Think of all you want to say to her and the best way to say it. That is the best that i can say and that is what i have had to do with my parents. Good luck to you i hope that you and your mom can come to an agreement, and your relationship make it through.
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (4 August 2011):
 You're just going to have to tell your mother to deal with the fact that you have a life and other people in it. Even though you still live at home, that doesn't give her the right to tell you who you can and can't date. You're an adult, and even though you love your mother, you shouldn't let her affect your love life. She chooses to act this way, so let her act this way. You've done nothing wrong to deserve it and maybe eventually she'll see how immature she's being. Ask your mother again to meet him for you and to not judge. Even though it's only been 2 months, she should know how important this is to you and that you wouldn't be bringing him around if he wasn't so great. If she refuses to meet him or any future boyfriends, then you just have to live with it. It seems like she doesn't like the fact that you've grown up and found happiness with others besides her and your dad. I may be wrong. But if she refuses again, then don't push her. Just simply tell your bf what's going on and that you're sorry that she couldn't be more friendly and move on with hope that she may come around one day.
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