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How do I stop missing the relationship I once had?

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Question - (22 December 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 22 December 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

How do I stop missing the relationship I once had with a girl? And also how do I stop feeling so lonely all the time? I was truly happy with this girl over a year ago, I am over her, but not the relationship and I miss the feeling of love and the feelings I had for her. In the end she is not the type of girl I want to be with, who she is is the girl I want to be with but her personality is what I struggled with(Party animal / Clubbing, I don't like to do either that much), she broke it off with me, she never gave me a reason other then she didn't love me.

How do I start becoming more comfortable with my self and also how do I just forget the relationship?

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A male reader, LovelessAct1 United States +, writes (22 December 2010):

Sorry to say that you can't really forget about past relationships. When you become involved with someone, you give them a piece of your heart. They will always have it and you'll will always have a part of them. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, for it forms us into who we are, but I understand that it can be painful to think about.

My best advice is to focus on the present and future. Enjoy the memories that the past brought, but never dwell on them for there is nothing you can change. Turn your attention to your current friends, family, school work, job, and hobbies. Every relationship is different, and while everyone may have their "ideal" spouse in mind, your expectations will never be fully met. People are not perfect and can't live up to the check lists we form in our heads.

Like you said, her personality just wasn't what you wanted. She valued different things than you and ultimately that would have prevented it from working. But be thankful you had the experience and time to share with her, yet look forward to the next girl you'll share your life with. You'll always continue to miss the relationships of the past, in some way or another, but what is most important is keeping your current relationships at top priority.

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