| A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have adopted a bad habit from my mother, that of bitching about those people who do not treat me fairly or the way i expect them to. My mother uses this trick to disclose important private information that she knows about my father to other people when she is not able to get the kind of treatment she expects from him. Similarly my father uses fear to blackmail my mother to satisfy his own needs from her. I am doing something similar at my workplace where i think the senior staff members are treating me unfairly and not up to my rigidly high standards of expectations. I understand that it is not completely healthy and would soon create problems for me at workplace or for that matter any place i go. But then this learned behavior is so rigidly powerful and strongly pursued by members of my family that i find it hard to resist in to falling in to the temptations. Any advice would be useful.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (20 May 2007):
 If you are not happy with the way you are. The answer is simple. STOP IT! Do not blame your mother as an excuse to carry on with the drama. You and you alone are responsible for your actions.
The important thing to remember is that you have taken the first step: Recognise need to change!
Humanity's greatest challenge is to live in compassion, to see themselves and others as they are and to accept every person's divinity and spiritual wholeness as the truth. By living in compassion you see others without judgment or expectations, so no one can disappoint or hurt you. You become your fullest potential because there is nothing to hold you back. When each person does this, the world knows peace because there is no reason for war. Everyone has what they need, so there is no lack. This is all possible when humanity lives in compassion.
When you live in compassion you live through your Source connection and your perfection. There is then no need to be jealous or envious of others, to want what they have because you remember that every part of your life is perfect and you have all that you are able to create for yourself. Because you no longer condemn or judge yourself you are free to create a reality that reflects your true potential. You have no fear because there is nothing to fear.
When you live in compassion you can extend compassion to others. Rather than reacting to what they do or say from your own pain or fear, you see them through the eyes of your God Self and can extend unconditional love and forgiveness to them in every circumstance and situation. Compassion opens the door to understanding and with that you are able to see past others' fear and know them as spiritual beings having a human experience. Once you can see beyond fear you see everyone with detachment because all of the emotional connections are transformed.
Then you understand and with understanding comes acceptance.
With compassion, you do not judge others' journeys because they are not like your own. You are then aware of how they contribute to your journey and lessons and are even able to gain understanding of their own lessons. Compassion will help create heaven on earth because it will release you from your karmic journey and enable peace, unconditional love and joy to become the truth.
Compassion will remove the veil between the spiritual and material and allow everyone, everywhere, to allow love to become the prevailing energy on the earth.
I challenge you to look at the bigger picture and watch this video. enter this link on website search I hope you find the path you are looking for.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRWa1K_USVY
Take care and be the person you want to be.
Angel of Love
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (20 May 2007):
 It may also come from not being happy with yourself. The world is as it is, and there is nothing that you can do to change it. It sounds like your family is a little immature, and if you feel that it's a temptation, there's a definite problem with you. There should never be the temptation in a person's heart to emotionally or verbally harm someone. That's a high school game, one that I believe you can rise above. When it comes down to it, you're a regular person, with regular problems, just like the rest of everyone. You're your own person, not your father, or mother. Don't feel it necessary to re-create their actions. Just because they do something, doesn't make it right.
Dv1
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