A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have a bit of a "jealousy" problem. and it's not with boys, it's with my sister. when ever my older sister has her friend over i get in such a bad mood and i figure it's because i'm jealous but how do i get over my jealousy..???? Plus she says i'm too nosy! so my question is how do i stop being so jealous and nosy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): I think the best and simplist way to get over jealousy is to work out your friendship with your sister...is she the elder sister? If so, she probably feels very protective of you, give her the opportunity to be a big sister to you, aks her for her help or advice! She will feel flattered and this will help the two of you feel closer, give her a hug when she is done and thank her for being your sister, tell her you thank God, that you have her in your life....people like validation, and you get back what you give....what you are missing that makes you feel so jealous is your sister's love and attention, reach out and you will get more.....Take care and be good.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): Admitting your problem, you are already taking a step to overcome it. Firstly I must say, if this jealousy originated from the feeling you are not treated equally at home or otherwise (e.g. a disproportion in the amount of attention you receive), you must not blame but the circumstances, and never ill-intentions. I am sure you both have talents and receive praise and encouragement, especially at home, but this should not let become a sibling rivalry. And fighting as a way to resolve conflicts is unacceptable. There is no need to compete. You are in the stage of discovering yourself as an individual, discovering your favourite activities and interests, do not feel confined. By picking fights (both of you) you will force your parents to intervene and mediate the situation, which may be very stressful for them (by imposing proper limits that does not do either injustice), thus you may want to protect them as they are in their turn doubtlessly protecting you also. This is only a problem because you in fact admire your sister and may feel at times intimidated by the idea of sharing so much in common. You can profit from each other's knowledge, especially the eldest has had the occasion to meet more people and situations. How to get over the green eyed monster? Please close your eyes and imagine your sister has no friends, a number of troubles, missed a great opportunity she had expected due to unforeseen conditions, and is very unhappy. What do you feel towards the image you portrayed? I think you'd feel quite the contrary, concern, sympathy? Now, think of the actual situation. Your sister is content, has friends, a beautiful purse that makes you excessively curious!... And you probably have petite rows due to such details. But isn't this preferable to the previous portray? Be happy for her happiness and respect each other's private businesses. You have a lot to learn from each other. I assure you your parents are trying to offer you equal chances, specifically to avoid such competition. At times they may seem to fail in organising their attention, but never intentionally, and most probably it is just an impression. Understand them. Best wishes.
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