A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy through work, he has his own company and so do I. We ended up meeting on a business trip two years ago and the affair started. He chased me and broke me down until I couldn't resist him any more. It was not about sex as we had many occasions to have sex but didn't. We were on the phone to each other all the time. He cried to me saying that he felt so guilty, he wished he wasn't born, I couldn't believe what he was saying to me as he is a very successful and intellegent business man with an extremely positive attitude. He told me that he loved me more than his wife and that he could not leave his kids (4 young children). He always referred to his kids about his guilt. He never spoke badly of his wife. The affair lasted about 8 months and he finished it. That was in Aug 07 and I still cannot get him out of my head. We are still in contact on a daily basis through work, he still makes comments to me about how beautiful I look or what he would love to do to me (but he never does anything). I know even by the way he looks at me that he still has feelings for me. I have tried to cut business ties with him by getting other staff members to deal with him, but as we are partners now in two companies that we have set up together, we have to be in contact. I think about him from morning to night - I think I am going mad at this stage - I am really in love with him - we still get on so well and always make each other laugh - he always looks out for me and me him. What do I do to stop loving him??????? Please help.......
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): I am in a similar position. But I was in love with this guy before he got married and I messes up big time. I got into a relationship and had a daughter, but I have been single for the past 5 years and at the end of that relationship, me and the guy that I love got back together, but the difference is that is he married with a daughter. I am so in love with this man that there is no one else of interest to me and I know it's a dead end although he loves me alot, there is too much hurting that will occur if our relationship comes out in the open. But it has been a total of 10 years and I just don't know how to get out and my heart wants to, but he is not allowing me to and I just can't do it on my own.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): That's a typical situation that happens to the best of us. You need to ask yourself "What must a woman with moral decency do?" It appears that you have enough of it to prevent anything from happening between the sheets. However, he was wrong for chasing you in the first place. I was in a situation like that not too long ago with my boss. He showed interest and I was infatuated but knowing he had a wife and children, it was something that had to be left alone. You need to seperate your personal feelings about him apart from business. Squash it, friend. It's not going anywhere with the way you feel about him, so quit torturing yourself by accepting that feeling and living in a fantasy world. You're digging your feelings into a deep abyss you may never return from in the end. End it now. Only you can do that so have the courage to confront the reality of the fact that it is what is, he is married with a wife and children and that it will never go anywhere from there. If you really care about the business between you and him and care about yourself, that's exactly what you will do--let it go--kill it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): I don't think you'll like my answer, but I think you need to do whatever you can to remove him from your life. I would cut ties completely - or at least as much as you can for as long as you can while you move on. If you have businesses together that you can't get out of, have other people deal with him and tell him that you need to move on, so he needs to leave you alone to do that. If he is married girlfriend, I hate to say it but he has chosen his mate and it seems as though he intends to stick with her. You are better off cutting the ties as completely as you can, and moving on so you can find someone you can have all to yourself. You deserve that! It sounds like you are smart and successful - and you deserve the best from a man - not a part time affair with his committments elsewhere. Best of luck to you!
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