A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was involved with attached guy for over a year.I'm not sure if he is actually married or common law but he lives with his kids mother and thier twin boys.When we met he told me that their relationship was over but just trying to figure out what's best for their children.I believed him but his availability would suggest otherwise.He won't see me outside his work hours and he stopped contacting me when he's at home.We used to chat outside his working hours but it gradually became less to a point it was nonexistent by the time I ended it.Even when I would message, I wouldn't get a response untill he's at work.So I finally ended it 3 weeks ago and told him I want more than he can and willing to provide since he's clearly not leaving his partner. All he said was ,I understand and while he has strong fealings for me , he can't give me whar I want right now .He will miss me and if I ever want to meet up to text him.We left it at that untill he messaged me again few days ago stating that he misses me and wants to know if I'm alright. I responded and assure him that I'm okay.Then he started messaging me more and paying more attention to me.I caved during moment of weakness and we agreed to meet again.I was happy again since I had missed him toReality set in again on weekend when he was at home with his family and didn't hear from him.Now I wish I hadn't responded .I feel like I'm back to square one and nothing changed as far as his availibity goes.Now I'm hurting again.I'm a glutton for punishment. How can I break away again?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2018): I get the affair addiction. As the other woman for 5 years, I caution you to get out and stay out. It gets so much worse in time. The pain becomes unbearable. It's better to rip off the band aid now than to destroy your soul and self worth slowly and painfully until you have nothing left. He's NEVER going to leave her. He will play you for as long as you let him.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 September 2018):
 Try and think off his two children would you really want to take their daddy away from them? It is clear he is still very much in a marriage, he just choose to feed you a pile of lies to get you in to bed. Honestly his wife and children deserve more, as do you. Please block his number and look for a man who will not keep you as a secret but who will show you off to the world. This man will never do that, he already belongs to another woman, who he has no intentions off leaving.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (5 September 2018):
 Even if he did offer you a relationship how could you trust him? He’s cheating on his wife, sounds like a piece of shit in my eyes.
Surely you think you’re worth more than a low life cheat? Find someone who’s not attached in anyway to another person. Also, don’t ‘look into’ blocking him. Just press the button and delete his information, job done.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2018): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for your responses. When he contacted me again I got my hopes ups that it meant he was actually going to do what it takes to offer me a real relationship and realized what he lost.Then it soon became clear that nothing changed ,he just want to resume things where we left off.I'm not putting blame on him ,It was still a choice on my part that was done out of weak state.All the reason why I broke it off , faded and could only think of the good times and miss him.It felt great talking to him again because I was able to relive the withdrawals sympotoms of cutting contact with him. When the initial high wore off ,I was soon reminded why I left in the first place We haven't met in person yet since we reconnected but I told him last night that I've reconsidered and can't see him anymore because he still can't offer me what I want.He hasn't responded since he is at homeI just feel like seeing him will make it hard for me to break it off again.I already feel like I'm back to square one buy getting back in contact with himI will also look into blocking his number
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (5 September 2018):
The block button?
Extremely simple, if he can’t contact you, it’s over.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (5 September 2018):
 It always makes me feel sad to read posts like this and realize there are people who think this is all they are worth. Sweetheart, you KNOW you are worth so much more.
Don't put the whole blame onto HIM though. You ALLOWED yourself to be manipulated back into seeing him. He did not FORCE you. Stand up and admit you are every bit as much at fault here as he is and that you CAN control what happens. You were just too weak on this occasion.
You KNOW he will not leave his wife and children, especially now that he knows he can get you back whenever he wants. Even if he did leave his wife for you, could you trust a man who you met as he cheated on another woman? Meet them by cheating, lose them to cheating. They don't change.
You KNOW you have the strength to finish with him. You also KNOW he will try to manipulate you back into being his cheap part-time bit on the side. Perhaps you should ask his wife how she feels about your relationship?
Be strong. Finish with him. Block him on all media. Change your phone number. If he manages to contact you, ignore him. He cannot FORCE you to take him back.
Show him you DESERVE better. I promise you, once you break free of him completely, even YOU will believe you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 September 2018):
 You get a new phone number or just block his.
He is playing you like a 2 dollar fiddle.
He is NOT going to leave his wife/partner and MOTHER of his 2 children.
Take a few minutes and think of his children.. maybe that will help you stop being in contact with him. Would YOU want some other woman to mess around with your husband? the father of YOUR children? I think not, so don't do that to the kids and HER.
Mostly, don't do it to yourself.
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