A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem. at 21 i have never been in a relationship. i have never kissed a guy, held hands, hugged, or anything else for that matter. it is not because i dont get chances it is because im scared. with every guy i date i end up "running" after the 2nd date. i want to do these things but i get so anxious that i feel sick and cant continue any sort of relationships with these men. idk what to do and i am scared that eventually i am going to run out of chances and be left alone. its like i keep myself from getting emotionally attached when in all actuality...thats what i want. i am so confused and upset with myself right now. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010): I used to have a very similar problem. I never made it past a 1st date - never mind any of the other things that go along with it.
However, I think It simply comes down to not being ready. Just because you're 21 - you feel like you should be ready just because a lot of other people are. I felt that way as well...seeing like 14 year old fall in love and have long term relationships while I couldn't even kiss a guy!
There's nothing wrong with not being ready, however, when you finally are, you'll be able to get past your anxiety. I didn't have my first real relationship until I was 22 and have been able to move past all of those anxities you described.
You might get past it naturally, or you may need someone to talk to. If you have a trusted friend or family member, why not talk to them? Or if you feel more comfortable with a counsellor, you could do that as well.
The reason I responded to your post is because I really felt like I could relate. I met my boyfriend when I was 21. He seemed nice & all, but I wasn't "into" him...so we stopped dating. Now, we've been together for a year & are both happier then ever. We've both accepted that the reason it didn't work out the first time came down to it not being the right time.
If you go out on dates - keep in touch with the guy. Don't even feel obligated to date him regularly. Just keep contact, & see him on your terms when you want to. Once you get comfortable, it could probably progress naturally.
I hope that somewhat helps & good luck!
A
male
reader, nickdanger82 +, writes (14 October 2010):
Be yourself, when you are ready to maove past the 2nd date you will. don't worry about what other people think. Thia only has to do with you.
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A
male
reader, nickdanger82 +, writes (14 October 2010):
Be yourself, when you are ready to maove past the 2nd date you will. don't worry about what other people think. Thia only has to do with you.
...............................
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