A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone Thanks in advance for your help!I just am not able to express my feelings through my actions I am a typical teenager but I tend to bottle up my feelings and then explode all of a sudden Also I seem to have no knowledge and the necessary patience perseverance required to handle relationship!Actually I have dealt with a brutal rejection earlier in my life which tend to made me feel it's bad to express your feelings esp opposite sex.I have this pattern of hiding my feelings until they explode and make people frighten by it.Also i score very high on avoidant attachment style spectrum.I tend to give up easily always ready to move on.I would like you to share your views on how to start and maintain healthy romantic relationship also how to have a healthy attachment pattern!Why cant I behave and express myself normally also how to remove all the hidden fears and rejection and past memories!I swing on the emotional extremes either I am very attached to a person to the point I can even cry for him or I just don't care if he is even ill!Love n light to all!Thanks a lot to everyone.
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2020): Maybe you should give yourself more time to mature. You're really too young to maintain a serious or lasting romantic-relationship. Give yourself time, and maturity will give you more confidence; and you'll develop more understanding of what relationships are about.
Right-now, you're young and awkward. Everyone is at your age!
You're just coming out of puberty. You're not at an age that romance is taken that seriously. You might be allowing your imagination to get the better of you; and you can't contain yourself. You're too eager, but not old enough or mature enough to pursue what you fantasize about. You first need to practice being comfortable around girls and talking to them.
Romance develops. You work your way from getting acquainted to spending a little time together. First allowing her to get to know you well enough to like you, and vice versa.
Don't be too intense. Girls in your age-group often try to act older than they are; but they're faking. They don't know much more than you do; but you should just practice getting comfortable talking and building your confidence.
Use self-control, without allowing yourself to get too eager to make someone a girlfriend; when you don't know each other well enough, and you have no experience.
Things will come naturally, but you have to learn how to do things one step at a time. Not pounce on a girl, and ask her to be your girlfriend! Watch other boys and how they act around girls. Then use your own charms and work your own personality. You'll attract girls; but you have to calm down, and not get ahead of yourself.
Don't be ashamed to talk to your father about this. That's what he's there for. He won't make fun of you, and if he does; laugh along with him. He was your age once. Listen to your father and trust his advice.
|
