A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together 6months. We was together before for over a year. We have been very on and off and he doesnt love me but im still in love with him. He joined a dating site and i found out we had an argument but after that everything was fine with us, he cuddled me kissed me and we was laughing and joking. Then yesterday he ignored me all day. And this morning i woke up to a text saying he wants us to be friends things cant carry on the way they are and he knows its his fault. I want to be strong, i know in a couple of weeks he will ask me to go round then after a few weeks he will do this again. I dont want to be with him but i love him so much im scared ill let him back in. I feel so alone, i know im young but ive had so much happen. My dad died 3years ago we was so close he was the only person i had. I just dont know what to do anymore it feels like my life is falling apart again. He has used me so much and i want to stand up for myself and be strong.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): Ah bless you. I am very sorry to hear that your dad died. I am a lot older than you but when my dad died a few years ago i felt dreadful and missed him so much. I felt he had been my protector and once he was gone, i felt very small and really scared for ages. It was a horrible, horrible feeling. I missed his blunt, forthright way of telling things as they were. And his ability to listen to my problems and within a few minutes, give me ideas of ways to sort out those problems and have me laughing and feeling better. It was like being in a wilderness for ages after he went. And then one day i realized he hadn't really gone. His wisdom, his take on life, his values and morals. He had given them all to me. The things i needed to get me through the day were there. Instilled in me by my dad. It was a precious legacy and i am sure your dad left you with the same. So when you feel down, what would your dad have said to you? And when you have a dilemma, what would your dad have said? Your dads wisdom and answers are still there in your memories, he will still guide you. You are your father's daughter and carry his genes, he is a part of who you are. Cherish that and don't think you are alone because you aren't, even though it might feel that way sometimes.As for your boyfriend. You might find that because your dad was gone. When this man came into your life, you were going to hold on to him by hook or crook and not lose him too. It is often the case that we will put up with very little rather than have nothing at all. So you might have held on to him, knowing he wasn't right for you really but needing the comfort of a man in your life. Any port in a storm. But the thing is. If you are too scared to let him go, you will be causing yourself more hurt and disappointment. Love really is a two way street. And if he isn't feeling it for you, then you are better off without him in the long run. I know it sounds easy to say while it is difficult to do. But it might be time to gather up your courage and next time he gets in touch, just ignore him. Honestly, all the time you are wrapped up with him, you are missing other chances to meet someone who WILL love you and treat you right. That is what your dad would want for you and that is what you deserve. You CAN stand up for yourself and you ARE strong. You have suffered a great loss. Met someone and fallen in love. And now you are coming to terms with the fact that he doesn't love you and it is time to move on.You are an impressive young woman...and stronger than you know. Theres a wonderful man out there waiting for you. Don't settle for anything less x
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