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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Though treating women as sex objects by men is quite common and widely accepted norm in my culture, i frown upon the concept and genuinely like to respect women before making any intimate connections with them. However, there is too much pressure against it. I develop feelings of hatred for my culture if i were to merely treat women as sex objects and later feel heavily guilty for doing it anyways. There is also a fear that i join the brigade of those abusers in my society who are just waiting for me to join them so that they can then start to demantle my character. Any advice would be helpful.. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2007): First of all you sound like a very good man, and thats rare, all i can say is stand up for what you believe in and dont give in to other peoples negativity, your a leader not a follower and thats a good quality, dont loose it. and always remember "You are the most important person you will ever listen too"
A
male
reader, sleepyhollow  +, writes (25 May 2007):
You can survive in your society without becoming one of them, but merely surviving may not be enough.
If you believe strongly enough, perhaps you can become a force of change. Be a good man, and treat well and honorably with everyone. Honesty, integrity, honor, and generosity/charity are the makings of a good man regardless of the culture or religion. Lead by example, and marry a woman for love.
Love is tough. It is hard. You will no doubt be hurt in the process. Do not succumb to the idea that just because you may be scorned or hurt by one woman that all women are the same. Hold onto the hope and keep the faith that true love exists and that you will discover someone with whom you share that special rapport.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (25 May 2007):
 Hi Anon. Well I think that by simply writing down your thoughts and clearly stating that you're against the way that your culture treats women is a very positive action. You've identified that it's immoral and just not right so now let your actions follow your words. Don't worry what other men in your culture do, you can't judge or control others so do what you think is right and show them an example of a different way. Don't rub their noses in it, just treat others like you would like to be treated and live by your principles and values. I hope it's not too difficult for you. Well done and lots of courage! Take care.
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