A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heres the problem.I have no idea how to speak to this guy.I don't want to make him feel like i don't want him around.he's special to me.And im afraid that i'll say something really stupid.i havn't seen him in ages because i'm kind of avoiding him.i know that i probably shouldn't but i do.he's been through a lot.but it's been about two years since then.i think that he knows how i feel because of something that i did about well,ages ago.but the last time that i was in the same room as him all i felt was tension.and the way i delt with that was standing in silence not saying a thing.how pathetic.how am i supposed to get rid of this awkwardness(sorry about the spelling) but the thing that made me stop and think was that when i walked in the room we just kind of stared at each other for a while and my sis said that he couldn't stop staring at me and smiling but he didn't let me see it.help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, flyjorgy  +, writes (4 March 2008):
I was like this before I met my wife. Think of it this way - in your adolescent years, you are learning. Feeling nervous or anxious about taling with someone just means that you're outside of your comfort zone. You can't learn unless you operate in this zone, so it is normal. Prepare a one-line comment to get him to talk - a mutual interest, go to a planned event, or something. This is why dinner and dances work so well, they're a nice transition into social learning. Trust this: if it is meant to be, it will come naturally and if it stays awkward after you try, then maybe it isn't meant to be. He may be more nervous than you!
A
female
reader, pinksuze +, writes (4 March 2008):
I completely empathise with you, I went for years and years and years not talking to blokes I liked. The problem is that if you don't talk to them you're not going to get very far. You might have done something which showed you liked him ages ago but .... that was ages ago!! He has no way at all of knowing that you still like him does he? Unless, that is, he's a mind-reader! It sounds as if he likes you too so you really should capitalise on this. I would imagine that he's probably as nervous about making the first move as you are, and I know how nerve-wracking it can be. But there's an awful lot to be said for being pro-active rather than reactive - when you make decisions about what you're going to do and then follow through on them it makes you feel good about yourself. You realise that you're in the driving seat of your life and not a passenger, you realise that you can do things that vastly improve the quality of your life! I don't know you, but I know for absolutely sure that you wouldn't say anything stupid because I know that everybody worries at sometime or another about showing themselves up. If you're really that worried about it you could decide before you see what you're going to say, and practice saying it, that way you'll know for sure that you're not going to say anything stupid.
Bite the bullet and go for it. It's only hard in the first instance - once you've said the first thing it's done and you'll never have to do it again. And who knows where it could lead?!
Good luck :o)
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