A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I want to forgive my husband.i want to believe he is willing to reform as he promised recently. He has apologized and realized he was on a wrong path. He is willing to do everything it takes to fix our marriage.We've been together 17 yrs and have 3 adorable kids. I want to forget his emotional affair which lasted a couple months last yr and a period of 3 yrs (2010-2012) where he seeked escorts. But the hard part is I'm unable to let it go. I find myself still spying on him. I want to stop doing all this. Please help me find ways to forget and forgive sincerely.
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female
reader, Liz211 +, writes (22 May 2015):
My best advice to you is to forgive first and foremost, but I want you to remember just because you forgive someone doesn't mean they still have to be in your life. Since its causing you to feel like you have to spy on him, let the relationship go. I'm not gonna to lie it going to be hard, but do what is best for you. I can only offer my opinion to you but deep down you know what to do its just taking the first step. I pray that God gives you peace pass all understanding.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2015): There is no magic fix for infidelity and you will likely never forget the hurt. The time will minimize it but periodically the angst will haunt you. I think only love and commitment going forward is the only way to minimize that.
Cheating is usually a sign that something isn't right in your marriage so you need to be open to changing yourself, along with him, to make it right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2015): I'm sorry you're going through this. Honestly, I don't think there's anything specific you could do to just get over it. You were betrayed by the person who is suppose to be your world, someone who should never hurt you. You either take it slowly and try to forgive with time, or you realize that you simply cannot forgive what he did and will have to end the marriage. There is no in between, you will not be able to have a healthy happy marriage if you stay but can't trust him or worry about his whereabouts 24/7.Life is too short to constantly be worrying about what your husband is up to. He may change and never do anything like that again, but a majority of people who cheat, will do it again. It seems like he was unfaithful several times with several people. Did he give you an explanation of WHY he decided to cheat? I can see forgiving an emotional affair, but 3 years of escorts? Come on now.Regardless of your decision, make sure your kids come first. They are the first priority in this situation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2015): Do counseling even if you don't think you need it. It will take care of deep resentments that may blow up in the future. Other than that, give it time in years.
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