A
female
age
30-35,
*ucious L
writes:Hello there, I need help, I'm 21 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for over three years now and we've our ups and downs. To cut a long story short he has been telling me he's lacking respect from me and that I don't treat him as the man he is, I promised him several times that I'll respect him as I don't want to lose him but I act on my emotions sometimes and curse him when we arguing. I'm two years older than him, could that be the case? I've never dating people younger than me before infact my exes are all four years older than me o so, this was never an issue before because he is very matured for his age sometimes his even matured than my exes who were four years older than me. Please help as to how to respect my boyfriend more because I love him and don't wane lose him.
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female
reader, Lucious L +, writes (27 November 2012):
Lucious L is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll these anonymous writers i'd really like to know ya'll, please private message me so that next time I know exactly who to ask. Thank you ladies what u said was profound!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): Stop cursing at him is a good start. No matter how angry you are its not acceptable to curse at someone. That's verbal abuse.Also, be considerate of him. Treat him as you would like him to treat you. Say please and thank you. Never forget to thank him when he has done something for you. Don't criticize personal things about him like his appearance or his job or whatever. Don't mock him or make fun of him whether jokingly or in anger. These are all basic courtesies you should show anyone but especially your partner.your bf should be the person you treat the best out of everyone else. Too often, people treat their partner the worst out of anyone and think that loving them at other times should make up for it. Bad treatment has bigger effect on relationships than good treatment so you need to eliminate bad behavior towards your bf or none of your good treatment will count as far as his feelings toward you.
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A
female
reader, Lucious L +, writes (26 November 2012):
Lucious L is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, thank u anonymous reader.
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A
female
reader, Lucious L +, writes (26 November 2012):
Lucious L is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is a God-fearing boy, to me it takes a man to live that kinda lifestyle. He doesn't care what anybody thinks but he loves His God. I'm sorry if I gave u guys a wrong impression about him, he really does treat me right. We mostly suffer from misunderstanding not because he did me wrong.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 November 2012):
His being younger has nothing to do with it. The fact that you are both so young has a lot more to do with this… my husband is 13 years younger than I am…
He says you lack respect for him…. That you don’t treat him like a man. Well does this 19 yr old boy behave like a man? Does he respect you?
What does he say he expects you to do to show respect? I’m sorry but I don’t get a good feeling here….
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (26 November 2012):
 You list your age as 21, he is two years younger, that makes him 19 .... you have been with him for over three years, that means since he was about 16. Pubity for boys usually spans from age 9 to around 17.
His problem (he says) is that you don't respect him for the man he is. Your best bet may be to sit down and ponder on what sort of man he is, and then determine if the level of respect you show him reflects his true worth and if he respects you for the woman you are.
Personally I think the relationship has probably run its course, it was fine for the pair of you while you were growing up but its now time to move on to mor adult type relationships, with a mutual understanding and respect.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): ". . . we've [had] our ups and downs."Top Five Dear Cupid Red Flag.If your relationship is so unstable and volatile after three years, and you are constantly bickering about what I'm sure are petty chicken-bleep disputes, then that is a sign you are involved in a unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship. "he has been telling me he's lacking respect from me and that I don't treat him as the man he is, I promised him several times that I'll respect him as I don't want to lose him but I act on my emotions sometimes and curse him when we arguing."You can't "promise" to respect him, either you do or you don't. However in your case, the point is moot as it would appear that he's done nothing to earn your respect and even if he had, you seem to be incapable of showing him respect. "he is very matured for his age sometimes his even matured than my exes who were four years older than me."Neither he, you or your exes are very mature if you engage in childish game playing. Only advice I can offer is don't let him knock you up
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A
female
reader, Lucious L +, writes (26 November 2012):
Lucious L is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you, will surely do :)
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 November 2012):
 P.P.S. Have your boyfriend read them, too!!!!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 November 2012):
I suggest that you get a copy of Dale Carnegie's book "How to win friends and influence people" and read it. This book is a staple of how to get along with others. It's an oldie - to be sure - (was written in the 1950s).... but its message is ageless.....
P.S. Another such book is "I'm OK; You're OK".....
Good luck....
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