A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need help! My girlfriend is so unthoughtful and un caring. She is "cold". I have been with this girl for over a year now. Before we got together she was all about hanging with her guy friends 24/7 and watching movies with them and doing things with them. Now that we are together she doesn't hang out with them because i do not realy aprove of it. I know that i probobly should trust her and i do its just i do not trust them. I am an independant guy that has no family and not to many friends. In addition, when she is working i sit at home when she is doing other things i sit at home. She works 3 jobs goes to school and helps a lady clean. She often tells me we spend to much time together and that is why she is like she is. Lately i have been so depressed because i love her so much but the way she is i can't take. I really want to stay with her and work things out but she doesn't care. When we talk about things its all my fault and she would not be like she is if she was able to hang with her friends. She does things like tells me she has something for me when i get home but then comes over late. She makes fun of me for things i do she tells me all the time she hates me. She leaves my place when we get into arguments for dumb reasons but when i do the same things she says i am dumb. I just need help on what to do. I know everone will say that i need to get rid of her but i will be honest i don't really want to i love her she is smart she has a lot of things going for her. I tell her how i feel constantly but she always has an excuse on why she does it. And its always because of me. She makes me feel so bad and so unloved and so un inportant. She works basically 4 jobs and goes to school but then thinks that she spends too much time with me. I really can't take it something has to happen and i don't want to break up with her so idk. I am really depressed as of late. I need help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): My girl and I are similar. The bottom line is, she is your whole world and pretty much all you need to be happy. But you are not the same to her. It doesnt meen she loves you any less than you love her. She needs more than you. It hurts to hear it that way, but thats what my girl kinda does to me and thats the advice I got. I think the best thing for you guys is to have some seperate friends but just have some ground rules. Youre gonna have to trust her. Also it sounds like she is missing a little fun in her life with her school and work like it is. Also keep it in your mind that maybe she just isnt ready for the whole mature relationship thing right now.
A
female
reader, catt17 +, writes (2 April 2009):
Honestly it sounds like you need to find more to do with yourself. It sounds like you a revolving your life around her way too much and she is losing respect for you because of it. It sounds like she is a fairly active person while you sit around and wait to find out what is going on with her. She gave up her male friends for you, but that is changing who she is and that may be why she is lashing out at you. Honestly, it is not her fault that you dont have many friends and family. You seem like you are being too clingy and she is trying to get some space..If you take the initative to do your own thing and keep yourself occupied, wait and see how things will change for you. You will arouse her interest again and she will repect you for having your own life. Just because two people are together, it doesnt mean that they should lose themselves or their individuality..And absence makes the heart grow fonder!!!
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