A
male
age
30-35,
*annyjam
writes:Hey there my girlfriend has recently finished me after a two year relationship, she says because she is emotionally drained due to me being quiet mean over the past month ( the reason i have been like this is because she started a new job and a guy was being very flirty and asking her to go to the cinema and shopping etc, i have asked her to put him in his place and stop him from sending these texts but she is either being very nieve or she feels something for this guy. this makes me nevous as she has said this guy is quiet good looking and they have more in common then myself and her do, but says she doesnt feel for him in a relationship way just as a friend. due to this i was getting very worked up as i felt i was powerless to do anything ).she said she needed space while we were together but when sh told me i panicked and demanded an answer so she said she wanted to go on a break. so the day she finishes me she goes dancing with this guy from work then the day after i randomly see them walking to her house together and the next day they go shopping together. are they just really good friends coz he is there for her or was there something going on while i was with her and perhaps something sexual happening between them? despite all this because i am not sure i am stil madly in love with her and dont want to lose her what can i do to get her back? also another big factor in this is that me and my family are moving to australia in roughly one year, so i offered to stay with her while she finishes university then go over to australia together. so overall is she interested in this guy or isit just a close friend thing going on? and how do i show her that i trust her and that i would do anything for her, she needs to know as i am not good at expressing my emotions.please help!!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009): i'm not sure. From my perspective i think she was probably flattered this guy was 'flirting' with her. She enjoyed it and was friends with him, but it didn't neccessarily mean they were getting together. If you had been together for two years, maybe the scene was getting a tad boring and this guy spiced it up a bit. She would have known the relationship with that guy wouldn'tve worked and loved being with you, but enjoyed the attension she hadn't seen in two years. She should have considered your feelings, but i think now she is just with this guy because he is there basicly. She needed someone to lean on when the break up happened and hes been supportive. She STILL may not think a relationship would work with them, but she'll be using him as a rebound. If you do want to get back with her, i would talk to her soon.
Take care.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (3 July 2009):
 Oh dear,
you are the unwitting victim of "The Guy is there for me so I need some space routine".
Which translates to:
"I am going to have sex with him, and I expect you to wear the "sucker" sticker on your forehead until I deem an appropriate time to give you another round of false hope and then crush you like a bug".
Basically she is interested in him and has basically told you so by saying how good looking he is and how much they have in common.
The "I need space" is the tried and true default response of someone that does not have the real cajones to break up with someone and just keep them on a string until they figure out whether the other relationship is going to work out.
You have for all intents and purposes been given your walking papers. This is like a bad script that people rewrite everyday. This site is loaded with fallout from the response of "I NEED SPACE".
She is playing you for a fool. Dont give her another thought. Go out and find yourself someone who will love you and respect you. Let her be this other guys problem
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (3 July 2009):
 the thing is it seems she has chosen this other guy because she has gone on a break with you.
could you even trust her in the future if u guys did get back together?
the best thing u can do to win her back is be honest with her. tell her your feelings and that your sorry. see what she says about it all and go from there.
i dont know if somethings been going on with the other guy from the start but it sounds suspicious.
you will only find out if u ask her direct whats been going on and what she feel about your future together and then go from there.
try not to pressure her into an answer either. u have to go with your gut instinct on this.
good luck!
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