A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend stopped in the middle of having sex last nite, complaining that im to quiet in bed, and because he doesnt know if im enjoyin it he doesnt enjoy it! he wants me to be more dominating in bed, but i cant change the way i am! Im just scared that if im not saticfying him, he's going to find it elsewhere! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008): (thanks everyone for ur advice...just to reply to "oldfool" i already do the things that you said to do, apart from talking dirty to him. Thats why i dont understand why he thinks im not enjoying it. I'm not the most confident in bed but mayb il try giving that a go, i dont know what he's really expecting from me)x
A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (20 November 2008):
 Of course you can change! It just takes a little effort. And not too much, either.
This is no different from other aspects of life where things can change if you "give it a go". And the thing is that as changes start to happen, you grow more confident, he gets happier, and you in turn become even more confident.
You don't have to do a lot. A sharp intake of breath, closing the eyes and knitting the brows, putting your hands on his torso and applying pressure, moving a little against him when he's inside... these are all things that convey to him the fact that you're being turned on. Scratching, biting, putting your legs around him, talking to him ('what are you doing?' 'who are you f**king?' 'whose p**sy is your c**k in?', etc.) could all help make him feel more turned on.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): Just let yourself go. If you're having sex you must be comfortable with him? So it doesn't matter if you feel like an idiot. From time to time I think about how stupid the noises and facial expressions both me and my boyfriend make are, but it doesn't matter cos we love each other.
Sex is about give and take, so don't make yourself too uncomfortable, but try something new that will turn him on. You never know, you might enjoy it =) and besides, once you've done something for him, he can do something for you...
Have fun! =)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): You could always go for some physical encouragement, rather than audible. Some guys like being scratched or bitten during, and it would certainly show that you're enjoying yourself. I'm not telling you to shred up his back...just start out small and see how he likes it. If you're not comfortable with nails and teeth, howabout an intense squeeze now and then coupled with a sharp intake of breath?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): (just wanna say thanks for all your advice, i really appriciate all your help!) x
...............................
A
female
reader, wayblonde6  +, writes (18 November 2008):
I agree with what everyone said. I mean add a few moans hear and there when something feels good. I used to be really quiet but now I guess I am prettty load not pornstar load just haha like normal? I mean maybe give him a strip tease or be really demanding like role play or something change it up. Good luck :) and have fun
...............................
A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (18 November 2008):
 Maybe he has been watching too much porn? Your not even 20 years old! Maybe its a good thing you aren't the expert in bed that he thinks you should be. Maybe its possible that his demands are making you feel more closed up than free to express yourself?
If he is being that rude to you perhaps you might tell him that there is a difference between making love and being used for sex and if you feel you are being used by him, perhaps its best to end this. He doesn't sound very mature nor does it sound like he knows how to bring you real pleasure.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 November 2008):
If he's that shallow that he'd leave you or cheat on you just because you don't scream in bed then he is not worth staying with.
But to give you some hints on being a bit more confident then just start small telling him what feels good. All men love to be told they are good in bed so go with that, tell him that you love what he's doing. (It also helps him improve if you tell him which bits of you to stroke and kiss.)
Just give him a little moan when he does well and you'll soon get into it when you see how much it turns him on.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
|
