A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a single, young woman of nineteen years and I am currently in a friends-with-benefits kind of thing with two young men my age (only making out). I honestly do not feel good about any of this. You see, one of these guys is my ex-boyfriend's best friend, who has apparently liked me for over a year now but I never picked up on it. I honestly never wanted the kiss we shared to happen, but he kind of "pressured" me into it. The other guy is another ex of mine but we seem much more compatible these days which is why we are basically "together." I'm not really sure how you would describe our relationship, to be honest. I know we're not dating but I'm WAY closer to him than any other guy I hang out with. He's like my best friend, only slightly more intimate. Again, I have no idea how to describe that.I basically just want to know how to say, "No." to my ex-boyfriend's best friend and really in general. I admit, I'm a huge push-over and I need to get out of that before I get in trouble. Any suggestions?
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male
reader, The old Man? +, writes (16 February 2009):
 In my opinion, your ex's buddy is wrong in trying to be with you. Out of respect for his friend, he should consider you off limits.
If your ex learns of this, it could put you in a position that looks like you are doing something to get back at him, make him jealous, or just tick him off. Be it right wrong or indifferent, he will at first take his buddies side, but in time, you'll end up looking like the bad one.
Dating or messing with ex's friends is asking for bad results, no matter which side of the fence you're on.
There's one avenue for you to take. The other, just like "MyDestiny" says just tell him NO!
A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (16 February 2009):
 just tell him straight up you're not interested in him like that, and lay it down nicely
just tell him you only want to be friends, nothing more gudd luck
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