A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have known my boyfriend for about a year and we've been dating for nearly 6months. He is a great guy. We are both 24 with me being a few months older. We discussed the possibility of pregnancy when we decided together to have unprotected sex. We were not planning a pregnancy but decided to be there for each other if it happened. He already has a 5 year old daughter who means the world to him, but we live in a small town and jobs are hard to come by. He just recently got a job and has begun to payback his back child support. How can I tell him that we are pregnant, when he already has enough stress for the moment? To complicate matters I work with his mother, so I have to tell him before I begin showing. She is also a wonderful person, but has expressed her desire to not have anymore grandchildren for the time being. I want to stay with my boyfriend and stay friends with his mother too; any advice would be welcome.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Congratulations, and good luck!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Sorry but your intial post made this pregnancy out to be a BAD thing, a problem. In this day and age an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy pretty much pisses me off. I'm glad to hear this is not the case. Good luck and enjoy your baby.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): The expectant mother-
Oh and I should let you know that I own my house and car free and clear- I don't have anything coming out of my chechs but utility bills and insurance, so I can do this on my own, whith out any form of government assistance it was a question about the timing and his stress levels- not an oh my god what do I do situation. I'm actually really getting excited- I've wanted children my entire life- before I met my wonderful man I actually considered a sperm bank and going it alone. So, if it comes to it I will raise our child alone- but I love the father and do want him to remain in both of our lives; people can do strange things when they are under a lot of stress. so, that should just about sum up the situation for all of you sweet agony aunts out there
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): Thank you tisha 1 for your answer. It helped me a lot, he wasn't exactly excited about the timing but he is excepting of our baby to be. You were right there really is no easy way to say it except but to say it straight out. As for eyes wide open, I was looking for some helpful advice handling this delicate matter, not criticism. We talked about the possibility of us getting pregnant from the start, we were just hoping that he would have been working a little while longer first. We are 24 not 16, and we are both well aware of our actions and we will take responsibility accordingly. Thank you for answering ,though. Tis the season and its the thought that counts- sometimes. The expectant mother. Oh and as a side note we decided to hold off on our big reveal until after our first o.b.g.y.n visit
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 December 2010):
"We discussed the possibility of pregnancy when we decided together to have unprotected sex. We were not planning a pregnancy but decided to be there for each other if it happened."
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So you say something like this:
"George, remember when we discussed the possibility of pregnancy when we decided together to have unprotected sex? I know we were't planning that I would be come pregnant, but it has happened. I hope we will be there for each other as we discussed!"
Then wait for him to process the news. You may need to be patient, as he likely won't really absorb the news right away.
After he reacts, give him some time to think about it some more, then you can start to think about talking to him seriously about the situation.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 December 2010):
You just tell him your ill-conceived idea to have unprotected sex has caused you to conceive.
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