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female
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anonymous
writes: I am single and in my 40's and in contact with an ex. We were talking about our very brief relationship from years ago and I said to him that I enjoyed our brief relationship all those years ago. He replied that we had fun and that we had some good s*x too (with a wink).He is in an on/off relationship so I am assuming that his reply (even though I was expecting him to just say 'the same here') was just confirming that he enjoyed the relationship but making a point about the intimacy or was he saying something in the hopes that I might encourage further chat on there. He had already made a comment referring to the lower half of his body so he was either in a relaxed mood or hoping for something more.I have not said anything anymore except to say that I couldn't agree with him more.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2015): Oh, by the way! If the feeling is mutual? Run the past through your mental computer for some review and processing.
Consider what has changed about you both for the better, or for the worse. Don't just go for the sex.
Let him woo you and date you first. Let sex be the reward for good behavior; not some drunken or impulsive act you'll certainly regret. I warn people about "reconciliations" initiated by sex! They are spur of the moment, and just responding to primal urges; more than feelings of love. Familiarity, curiosity, and sentiment plays more into it; than real romantic-connection.
Recall that once upon a time, a relationship abruptly ended; and brought you to where you are now. Although you've moved past a lot of things, think before you act.
Sex doesn't always connect the same feelings for men, as for women.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2015): He is hinting that he would be up for sex if you are. Perhaps the sex you had meant more to him than anything else. Remember, he's your ex now. Something separated you, and different people take different things with them when they go their separate ways.
Don't respond to his sexual implications or subtle hints. He just assumes the fun you're mentioning is a reminder to him of the one part you both still agreed on. Great sex!
Maintaining contact with an ex is usually an indication that feelings linger; whether people admit it or not. One of the dangers of these continued (but filtered/altered) relationships, and what our present partners fear most, is a rekindling of the sexual-attraction once shared. It's renewed when curiosity arises as to what it would be like now, versus then. For some, that fire is put out by the "yuk-factor!" For others, it just keeps popping-up in the back of their mind.
Never overreact or impulsively respond to his suggestive comments. Laugh them off like a joke. Or, if he gets too frisky; tell him to behave himself. Unless you're getting those "pop-ups" too?!!"
If you're not sharing the feelings about sex, douse him with a few cooling(but playful)warnings. "Don't get your hopes up buddy-boy, those were the days; but we're only friends now!" This one always limps the willy. "I don't feel that way about you anymore; but you've become a great friend!"
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (19 September 2015):
 You only have to respond if you are happy with a bit of "wink" too.If not think nothing more of it. Just bare in mind whats classified as 'Off' for some is not 'off' for another as you could be playing with fire as the unintentional other woman.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (19 September 2015):
He obviously wants to have sex.
If you do too, go for it.
If you are hoping for something more, then you should wait and insist on dating.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (19 September 2015):
 I think he is viewing you as a possible stop gap provider of sex when his current on off relationship is going through an "off" period.
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