A
female
age
30-35,
*sears1989
writes:I just realized my ex was controlling me in basically everything. I'd like to know how do I take control of my life so it doesn't happen again next time I get in a relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): I have assembled a checklist of a few things. First checklist is Red Flag. I am very loyal to it. When someone demonstrates a red flag, I get going. These red flags, for me, include: abusive home life, alcoholic upbringing, how he treats his mother is a major league red flag right there, does he have spy ware on your computer, does he prevent you from doing things you like such a going to the gym this list could go to Christmas... See a red flag? Run for the hills.Then there's checklist of every single thing in the world that you like to do for a sense of contribution: give blood, take a class, take a group sport class, walk in the park every day, get a massage once a week. laugh with your goofiest friends at happy hour, learn a new skill, take astand up comedy class, build a koi pond in your back yard, Then, men notice you are suddenly your own girl, you zip around town taking care of all your loves and you seem so at peace with it and having a good time. So now you're in control of you, and still appealing to men; Great! Last thing: make a list of what you will have in a relationship, not in a man because that doesn't work, but in a relationship. These are items that you must have no matter what. Could be honesty, could be must be respectful toward his mother, must not use porn, must have clean breath... And remember to NOT take on a ROOKIE. NO ROOKIES. You are not the teacher. A partner should take care of his side before coming into a relationship.Remember: if you suspect it, it's likely happened! It's likely true!!!Now get out there and get control of you; paragraph two.
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