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male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I have a different (often the one not tried before) way of doing things in life as compared to majority. I feel a lot of opposition in that but in the end i find what i did to have been good for me. But i also derive a sense of grandiosity for being able to go against the wind. I don't do it to prove others stupid or wrong but just what i feel is the right thing for me to do, but people seem to think otherwise. How do i reduce this burden of opposition that i face in every major decision i take for life. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (22 February 2007):
 Right, lets be straight. People offered you differing opinions to the one you had about working abroad? Ok, so that is all they were OPINIONS. What you do at your age is your choice. If they said 'these are the negatives' just tell them thanks for pointing them out, but I am going to make my own decison in my own time, when I am ready. I will take your opinions into consideration.
Then do your own thing.
Why do you care so much about other peoples opinions anyway? You are an adult.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2007): As an example, i had a fairly well-paid job in my country but i wanted to develop myself further as a person and learn about different culture. So i wanted to go abroad for Post Graduate studies. I faced a huge opposition in this decision as people thought why would someone want to quit such a nice job and invest so much money for education again. My decision proved to be supporting my intentions, but then again it didn't satisfy some high expectations my parents and other family members had related to my career prospects after education abroad.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (21 February 2007):
**How do i reduce this burden of opposition that i face in every major decision i take for life?**
You asked this question and I think you need to look inwards as to why you repeatedly 'fly in the face of convention'. I know this is probably not the best term to use for your decision making process, but i am unsure how to put it any other way.
You say you make decisons that are not the same as everybody elses decisions. Can you enlighten us further as to how and what decisions these are and what sort of opposition you face when and after making them. I think it would probably be easier to answer this question then.
x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): willywombat, i can understand what you are trying to say. And a lot of my nature bends toward that of rebellion. A rebellion would blindly follow his pursuits just to oppose something or someone. I do it more consciously and only when i am more than 500% sure.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (21 February 2007):
I think you have issues with being seen as the 'same' as everyone else, and that you are still stuck in 'teenager rebellion mode' to be perfectly honest.
I am not saying your way is wrong, but why do you go out of your way to make life more difficult for yourself? It sounds as if you CHOOSE to make decisions that will be as awkward as possible for you and your family just to look like an 'individual'.
Take a real look at yourself and try to discover why you do this. I think you will find you are stuck in a behavioural rut left over form you teens to be truthful.
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A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (21 February 2007):
 Dear anonymous
I think you are doing just fine, you don’t need anybody’s approval on how to run your life, I don’t know why their opinions bother you because you have been able to go against them which means it has never been a burden to your life. A burden is something that prevents u from going on no matter how hard you try, in this case will be “no matter how hard u try to oppose it you can never win” and in your case you have managed to go against it and turn out alright.
You must remember that as long as you are living in a world full of people not everyone will agree with you and those who agree with you might not be fully supportive of what you do, so its up to you how you will want to shape your life such that you can be proud of what u do with it.
Take people’s opposition as a challenge not as a burden because if people can keep their nose out of your business believe me it will be lonely and dull, life is beautiful when someone tries to pull you to the other side and you pull yourself to the other side it becomes more interesting that’s why you said your decision has been good and you proved them wrong. So you tell me how were you going to know whether your decision was right or wrong if u didn’t have an opposite opinion? Judge for yourself.
Just learn to live with people and you will learn to understand the way of living, what to value and what to discard.
jovial
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