A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met my GF about 4 years ago, at first we just talked a bit but I kinda fell for her pretty fast, I asked her out but she refused, I was a bit upset but she was important for me so I stayed a friend for her (and I was REALLY a good and caring friend) even when she dated other guys and stuff, for about 2 years we were hanging out and I supported her when she needed, it was okay, then she said that she also wanted a relationship with me - but wasn't ready and afraid and stuff like that, at last after couple of chances we made it and became a truly BF and GF (she was 20 and I 21).I was extremely happy that at last it happened, and I really tried my best being a good BG, care for her, help her with whatever she wanted, love her etc' etc' - but the wierd thing is, that from the start it wasn't really easy, after just a little while she was REALLY angry of me that I don't call her anough from work and stuff, she didn't really call me either.. but Okay, I got it, since then I'm calling her every day and she even hates it today (huh?), any-way, I was really bummed to have a fight like that, but I gathered myself and continued, also in the first year I got her a present each month and a BIG birthday present every year, I really tried to make her happy and wanted our relationship to be fun - but every once in a while she got angry about something, many of the times it was little things or stuff I did or didn't do, and every argument was really hard, it wasn't much fun.. also many times when I got her stuff she wouldn't look much intrested or whatever, it was wierd I dunno.. so after a year and something I stopped buying her stuff every month, but still pay for her when we go out for stuff and buy her things sometimes, now I'm getting to the point - we are now together about a year and 7 months, and even after all what we've been through I still love her and care for her, but it seems always to think that I don't care enought and that I hurt her too much - she got really sensitive, and it is really hard to keep up, she doesn't give room for mistakes, she dosn't forgive easilly and also doesn't give many clues on what/when to act, she is hard to please 100% and sometimes when things doesn't really go as she wanted she gets easilly upset and stuff..I really don't know what to do, she also wants a lot of attention - which I try to provide but it's no enough always, she says she loves me too but I don't know how much it is really true today, every once in a while when she gets really annoyed and angry (like this moment) she says really hurtful stuff about me and how I treat her.. I didn't believe it would happen but I did start thinking maybe we should end it, she also says it sometimes.. she says she doesn't believe in me anymore and every time she complains about something and I fix it (or partly fix it - and sometimes it really requires for me to change myself) she comes up with something else that I did wrong..The problem is - I still don't really want to, I still love her and it would not be that easy, it's pretty sad :(I guess we can somehow go back to being just friends but I can't be 100% sure how it will work, I am too tired of this all but maybe I love her enough not to give up even now?I'm lostWhat should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, susansuma +, writes (27 September 2010):
I would say take some time off. I had the same issue with my ex boyfriend and i regret pushing him so much. maybe some serious no contact (2 weeks maybe) would have saved us.
(i submitted a longer post but it never went through)
A
female
reader, susansuma +, writes (27 September 2010):
wow this sounds like exactly what happened with me and my boyfriend. I don't know what your relationship is like but for me, I really really liked my boyfriend. He was wonderful and always tried to make me happy. when we fought he would try to do the best to make me happy again. I really did not want to fight but it kept happening. He felt like he couldn't make me happy no matter what he did. I think eventually he just felt it was too much and broke up with me. I on the other hand was also miserable but still wanted to be with him. I regret fighting with him. I really wish we had seriously stuck to taking a break. I think some serious no contact, like 2 weeks maybe would help her learn not to take advantage of you and for you to think about whether you could make more of an effort. best wishes!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): Dude, she is treating you like that because she can. She knows that no matter what she does you'll be there. I had a guy like you once, and I cheated on him because I knew he would take me back and he did, then I resented him for being weak and pathetic. He spent more time trying to make me happy he made me miserable. Cut the chord, yeah it's gonna hurt like hell for a while, but you will find someone else and you will be happy too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): ok, ur girlfriend has some emotional issues. Although you seem to be a very nice guy, who cares deeply about her. I'm afraid that you will never satisfy her.... I think that this is beyond you @ this point. One thing that i know is that when someone is always finding something wrong in the relationship or that you never do anything right for them, they are always angry @ you, it is really time to end it. because if you continue with this person, you are going to get stressed for no reason. most of the time, you are not the problem, it is just that they have some kind of issue within that they will take out on you.you need to be with someone that appreciates all these efforts that you are making for this relationship, someone who you can please.it is definitely time to call it quits and i can tell you that because, I dated a guy who was similar and I did not realize how much I went through untill I got fed up and left the relationship.I know you love her but i dont think that the feeling is mutual.
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