A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Quick background: I'm 25 years old, male.I've known this girl for about 10 years, since high school and she's always been my high school crush, way before I had my first girl girlfriend. She became my friend during early high school. After high school our friendship was in and out, meaning she came in and out of my life because of responsibilities and family. 6 years after being her friend, I finally told her how I always felt about her. She was happy I told her and she told me that she always liked me but the problem was when I told her, she was already dating someone. We remained friends for a couple of week until I couldn't take it anymore and decided to cut it off for the best..throughout the course of the 6-9 years, I heard she got married and had 2 kids until the husband abandoned her and left her struggling with 2 kids.. I reunited with her 3 years later because of a mutual friend was having a get together and we reconnected..After much talking I decided to ask her out on a date, it went well and we both had a great time. During the time, my feelings came rushing back again and now I'm confused. She has too much on her plate with the fact she just had a newborn of 1 month and a 2 year old kid and I'll be leaving the country for a year because of family..It's been 10 years and I still feel the same way about this girl from the first day I saw her. No girl ever made me feel this way and trust me, I have a lot of experience. She just keeps coming back in my life even when I choose to move on.My question is: How do I pursue this situation, she has 2 kids and divorced and I'll be leaving the country for a year. Do I remain her friend until I come back and start a relationship or do I move on and never pursue the relationship because of the fact that she's a single mom with 2 kids?Please, I need advice
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 April 2016):
 Stick to being friends.
She has WAY too much on her place as it is without having to try and juggle a LDR as well.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 April 2016):
 Don't base your decision on your nostalgic feelings for her. A lot happened during those 6-9. You may never know what would happen the year you would be out of the country. Her feelings for you are mainly influenced by the fact that now she needs a father and a carer for her two children. It would be hard to be a friend when you had prior feelings for her. High school crushes are overrated and idealized. I would move on because in the back of your mind you would always wonder if you are just back up plan. If you are strangers than at least you won't have this issue, the wondering and what ifs. Her life with two kids is her path. It's got nothing to do with you not pursuing her strongly at the beginning.
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