A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband and i have a rocky marriage and have been trying to decide if we should divorce. He thinks im cheating on him but im not. Ive only been acting weird because i dont know what to do about us. I keep telling him im not cheating and that i love him. At first he believed me but all of a sudden he is going back on it and wants a divorce. How do i prove something im not doing?
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female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (12 September 2009):
Hes going to belive what he want he has issues. Probably insecurities I dont know maybe genetics, it could be a number of things. What ever the problem is its not your problem its his. If he loves you hes got to stop all that nonsense. Talk to him and tell that that things have to change. If you love him and he loves you than go get some therapy of something.Alot of people say that when one partner is constantly accusing another partner of cheating, than chances are their the ones doing the creeping. I cant say whether he is or not. But at some point your going to get fed up with all the b.s ... Try to talk it out and communicate first see where that take you. good luck sweety.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): You could also show him this thread
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): Has he has reason to think you may be cheating, even though you are not? Like extra activities or spending more time with friends/family. Silly, I know, but he could be thinking a million things. Also I've noticed that people who cheat accuse their partners of cheating too, this may not be the case and if you DEFINATELY know without a doubt he hasn't cheated, then rule this one out.
If you were wondering what to do about your marriage before he accused you of cheating then that problem still needs to be addressed, if this problem occured before the accusations then this may be a reason why he may think you are cheating; because you are acting differently.
There's not much you can do to make him see that you haven't cheated, he either believes you or he doesn't. If you are shouting and screaming at each other then stop that, and sit down and try to talk calmly and clearly.
If you haven't already, tell him the reason you are acting differently is because you know you have problems in your marriage and you wasn't/aren't sure of what to do, and that this is the reason you have been acting differently, NOT because you were/are cheating.
If you two are able to work this out, and only if you want to, then I suggest going to marriage counselling. From what you've said he seems to have trouble trusting you, presumably as well as other problems you two have. I understand that you don't want to be seen as divorcing for the wrong reasons, you would look like the bad one if he and other people thought you had cheated.
If you want to divorce regardless then you need to talk about it first, and explain the real reasons for not wanting to stay.
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