A
female
age
41-50,
*nknown_unknowns
writes:My ex and I were together for three years and I thought we had a really strong bond. We had a daughter about a year ago. He told me I would never have to work, that we could live wherever I wanted in the world, that he would provide for me. He told his mother "I know I will never do better than her." When our daughter was about 7 months old, he had a bipolar episode and lost his mind completely. He said that I had tricked him into fatherhood, and that he thought he was only supposed to be a sperm donor, and just crazy, CRAZY things about how I was in league with the CIA and the "reptilian agenda." He disappeared, then was jailed, then the court ordered he be sent to the psychiatric hospital. He got out in September and left me for a college friend who is getting off heroin. We have seen each other only once since the breakup. Our relationship is completely destroyed and is very, very hostile. He has blocked my emails and phone so that I cannot contact him.I just want him out of our lives. I know he will have breakdown after breakdown and I just don't want to be there for it. I can't face a future where my little girl is going to be hurt again and again by her own daddy. He has been committed six times and arrested 12 times, but his felonies were thrown out due to mental illness. (Please don't pick on me for having a baby with him, I didn't know the extent of his illness at that time.)I left my job, my apartment, my schooling, my friends, everything, to be with him, and he dumped me. He is very dismissive with me, and only wants to talk about when he gets to see his daughter. I don't want child support or visitation. I want him gone. We were not married and in my state I have full legal and physical custody until challenged. I need to know. . . what do I do now? How do I protect myself and my baby? How do I go about putting my life back together? I am horribly depressed and alone.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 January 2010):
I think though this is very sad, you're making the best possible decision you can. First of all, even if he did make a challenge, it is highly unlikely he would be granted access to see your child because of his past. Secondly, the best way to find out any information is through support groups, counsellors and government offices. You need to find out about your rights, how you can move away and all those sorts of things. You will get your life back on track, just focus on one things at a time and you'll get there.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (26 January 2010):
 I would see where the nearest support group for friends and families of the mentally ill is, they should be able to help you deal with all your issues.
But apart from that it is difficult to give any practical advise because the services available to people in your situation are so different in the States to what is available here. Maybe go and ask your local library what services are available, or your local government or council offices.
Work out what you need to do to cover yourself legally and do it, and then forget about him while you build a new life and future for yourself and your little girl.
Good luck
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