A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I was just hoping some people would have some advice for me on a subject.So I had the FINAL/6th breakup with my bf about 2 weeks ago. 6 breakups in 6 months because he was so immature, a liar and a control freak. I have been emotionally detached and havent loved him for 6 months. I was just weak when he cried for me to take him back and I gave in, even tho I was repulsed when he wanted to kiss me. He has a group of car friends. He would bring me out sometimes, but most of them wouldnt talk to me, except for like 3 of the guys.Anyway, last year him and I even tried to setup my friend with one of his car guys (I'll call him J). It didnt work out but in the process I got to know J quite well and he was telling about how all his friends were pigs and picked up random flings at the bars, but how he hated the idea of that and wanted a girl for a relationship, and the type of girl he could bring home to his mom. He was really sweet and down-to-earth about everything.Him and I kept in touch, completely platonic over the past 2 years while I dated the ex. He was always very nice to me, and just a polite and respectful guy in general too.So the other day I was talking to him online. I'm in nursing for school and I made a comment of "oh we're learning how to start IVs now, want to volunteer?" half-joking but hoping he might because its good practice. He was like "umm, so I was thinking, I'll let you practice on me if.." and there was this long pause, then he finished "If you let me take you out". I didnt see it coming at all. I had never looked at him that way before... but I got really excited about it. I told him sure. So we are supposed to be going out tonight... its not an alone thing, as I recall the time we tried to set him up we went with him cuz he was so nervous, which I'm thinking he's nervous again.I find myself so excited about it I cant even sleep, its weird. And I know I am not doing this as a rebound or trying to get back at my ex by dating his "friend". (I say it because half the time these 2 guys dont even get along, I wonder if its because J sees the real side of my ex and sees through his BS).My question basically is how to proceed with my going out with this guy and how the ex is going to take it? The ex claims he is going crazy and cant live without me but I've been told its one of their emotional blackmail techniques to lure me back in. I dont want to go back with him.I am ready to move forward with this guy... but I am just afraid of the repercussions once my ex finds out. J and I are keeping it quiet for now. But I know my ex, he is vindictive and will do anything to get his way or hurt somebody. He is a pathological liar and convincing at it too. I am afraid that he is going to start spreading lies about me to J... how do I prepare myself?
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emotional blackmail, immature, liar, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 November 2009):
I'm not quite sure what you are worried about.
If you ex calls you then reject his calls.
If he texts you then ignore the text and delete it.
If he comes round or is weird in any other way then tell him to leave you alone or you'll call the police.
He's only an ex boyfriend. He's really not your problem any more.
Good Luck!! xx
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