A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone thank you very much in advance for reading my problem and answering. I love this guy so much (let us call him "shah"). We've been in relation for nearly five years and i really value him and he loves me loads. The problem started when he got a job which kept him so busy that he couldn't manage time for me. He was married before we met and has a kid of about 7 years. I have accepted his kid as a loving mummy and with really open arms and open heart. I was a bit depressed when i come to know about his past because i was a virgin and i always wanted a guy who had his first time with me. It was difficult for me to forget his past but somehow i did. Formerly we used to meet daily, make love all night long and he treated me like a princess so naturally i started counting on his this behaviour (because i was not much loved by my family),but later because of his job schedule he remained so busy so we couldn't continue like before. I pleaded and even begged asking him to spare time for me and come to me i told him clearly that i was alone without him and i needed him, but he couldn't.(he was not cheating on me iam sure about that.. how? Thats a big story can't sum up here so dont worry about him cheating on me because he wasn't). Now.. i was almost left alone and my thirst of love and importance was killing me. At that time another boy came in my life (let us call him ghaff). Now ghaff was so sweet and adorable because he was my friend so i had told him each and every thing about shah he would soothe me, comfort me and make me feel good. Slowly we became so close emotionally and then he told me that he loved me despite the fact that i was already committed to someone else. He told me that he just cares about my happiness and no other thing matters to him. Gradually we fell for each other and started getting physically closer too. Somewhere in my heart i knew that this is cheating on shah because he was loyal to me and he didn't know anything about ghaff's existence, but my mind told me that this is sort of revenge because shah deserves it for ignoring me. Sometime later i went to spend a few days at my cousin's house and so i was away from ghaff. Just for passing time and having fun i started to flatter with my cousin and he told me that he loved me ever since, but i knew that he was only lying. Anyways, me and my cousin shared sometime kissing each other and just touching here and there but not really we slept together ever. When i returned home i thought it was best time to stay away from ghaff because i didn't want to ruin his life for my sake and so i did the same. In addition to that i also realised that having any sort of contact with my cousin could cause much family problems so i shut him out of my life. He was a bit reluctant but eventually he gave up also and so i got rid of both ghaff and my cousin. It was at this time that shah realised that i was not paying him much attention and was ignoring him most of the time, so he apologized and started managing his time from his tight job schedule so that he can give me more and more time. You can say that he sort of returned to me. We are together once again and i have never ever even thought of cheating on him again. I regret all, that i did, and i am really ashamed. i cant sleep during nights and feel so much guilty. I have not told anything about this to shah because there is chance that he might leave me after knowing all this. Now you guys out there please share your own experiences and feelings with me if you have faced the same problem. Please suggest me things to justify my acts please dont abuse me because i have done it more than enough for my self. Please suggest that should i tell this to shah or not and what should i think to over come my guilt? Please help me i really and seriously need your help. I want to get rid of this guilt because its really unbearable.
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cousin, depressed, kissing, revenge Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou v.much for replying me i really value your answers but iam seriously wounded by my acts and ashamed so please suggest me what to think to get rid of this guilt.
A
male
reader, Mana12  +, writes (22 November 2010):
Well I am a guy and all guys are protective of their girl and we love you girls the best thing would be to tell him the truth, I know gf who keep things from their bf hurt.
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