A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I find myself attracted to gay men often unknowingly, most of the time I don't find out they're gay until later. I realize it's mostly because they're safer and less threatening than straight men, who I almost have a fear of. How do I overcome this? I have strong romantic feelings for a gay friend and it's extremely stressful because he's the type to be very affectionate, which just makes me want him more. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (19 July 2011):
 when you said you are scared of straight men, you need to address this, get to the root of WHY you are scared of them and then work through these feelings or get counselling to help. then you will stop going for the gay ones. maybe you are attracted to gay ones coz you know they are unattainable, like deep down you are scared to get into a relationship/scared of intimacy (did/do your parents have a good marriage or is there something about their marriage that makes you worried and not want to go through the same stuff yourself?)
some guys are just TOO alpha male though and this puts a lot of women off, coz you just KNOW that they are gonna want to be out with the lads all the time, chasing women and being obsessed with beer and watching sports.
maybe you just want a man who is a bit quieter, less full of his own ego and has respect for women coz his mother has raised him right, someone similar to your gay friend
x
A
male
reader, MugenTj +, writes (19 July 2011):
 I think what you really want is a straight man with a soft side. Hard to find, but there are out there. Goood luck!
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