A
male
age
30-35,
*olt_77
writes:So my girlfriend and I have been goin out for 8 months, things have been great, but now all of a sudden she says "i dont nurture her". I wait on her hand and foot when we are together, always giving her compliments as well. her ex boyfriend was extremely clingy, and she is also. Im clingy to an extent but I dont like to step on peoples toes. so we planned on moven out next month, but out of nowhere she states that she thinks that we shouldnt move out that early in our relationship (WHICH I THINK IS A WISE DECISION). She still always states that she loves me, which i like. Im just basically asking how to "nurture" her more and show her that i love her more. because she asks me to show even more than I do (and I show her alot of love)
View related questions:
her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ElleExpresses +, writes (7 December 2009):
First of all, I am glad you two made a wise decision and are not planning to move out together. It has only been 8 months for both of you to have studied each other and that is not sufficient enough. I would say a couple needs at least 2 years before considering moving out together and that is only when they have seriously mapped everything out. As for you both as a couple, I think you should expect this will be the beginning of many discussions to come in dealing with insecurity issues. Why? Because you will be needing to communicate together on your true feelings and emotions on a regular basis. I don't know you two at all, but I would highly recommend that both of you actively seek out to take up a hobby together that allows for you to learn new takes on life. For example, join clubs, and develop friendships outside of the relationship. Plus, if you are attending college right now your school may offer psychological services that you may use. If you can take that opportunity by all means do it! You might benefit from couple's counseling. In addition, I noticed you said you "wait on her hand and foot" this doesn't seem healthy in my opinion. I'm not sure what this equates to, but it sounds like you have a constant servant type of deal going on. I like what EmilysAnswers said that you should be there to be a support system and not a father or teacher. Together, I hope in time you two will figure things out and take things slow. Good Luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): Perhaps ask her, 'Why did you say that?' and "what did you mean by that?'
What is her underlying message?
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (7 December 2009):
She's demanding that you love her MORE and "nurture" her???
This girl sounds like she's very demanding!! Are you sure you want to keep trying because it sounds like nothing you do will ever be good enough.
She doesn't need a MAN to nurture her. You aren't her dad or teacher. A boyfriend should be there to support her but if she wants to move on in life then she has to get off her arse and do it her self.
Ask her why she expects everything done for her? Life isn't like that....
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): Not sure what else you can do? Maybe she needs to see a therapist...being that needy isn't normal. Ask yourself this can you live with someone like this for the rest of your life? Maybe she needs a super clingy insecure guy like her.
...............................
|
