A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I know you can't make someone fall in love with you, but does anybody have any tips to move it along? We spend all our free time together, can talk about anything, and never fight. I don't know what the hold up is. I let it slip that I had fallen in love with him a few months ago and he started to say it he said I love... Well not love but I like you a lot. I asked him what is wrong with me he tells me nothing is wrong with you I just can't he tells me to give him time. Of course I have and I am. When he needs space I give it to him and I don't change my plans when he decides he wants to do something after I already had plans. We are always doing things for each other he fixes my car when it is broke down, I make him dinner, he takes me to dinner I buy him a drink at the bar etc. Every time I leave he gives me a strong hug and a kiss, sometimes very passionate. Some of my friends say he loves you but he can't say it others say he won't step up in case somebody else comes along. Whatever the reason I'm going crazy it has been months since I told him I loved him. I just need some advice on either how to nudge him enough to make him fall already or admit his true feelings and be completely straight forward and explain why he can't fall. I'm afraid to ask cause what if I say the wrong thing and I screw it all up. I'm afraid I may come across as giving an ultimatum, and that is not what I want.
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 You should stop thinking about it so much. You aren't really allowing him time while you sit back and wait for the endearment to come. You do not allow time while you seek ways to hurry it along, are you?
Allow the time, and stop "waiting" for it to happen.
Some people take more time than others to get a handle on those types of feelings and you are really torturing yourself by placing so much importance on hearing the words. Instead, enjoy your wonderful and LOVING relationship you share.
This will take some discipline to start off with, but you are capable of being successful.
Good luck.
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