A
female
age
30-35,
*lexis**
writes:my ex- boyfriend and i have been through alot in the 2 years we've been together on and off. i have really bad trust issues, and i think its a big part of us not working out. i've had a lot of people hurt me, and disappoint me, and turn out to do the worst things to me when they've said they loved me(...im talking about my family).i always tell my ex- boyfriend i want to start over and trust him. i guess im scared of being hurt by him too.i start alot of fights tho because im upset about what i got to deal with at home, and i take it out on him alot b/c im not good at telling him the stuff im going thru. i think im passing on the mean-ness b/c lately he can say hurtful things..like when my friend committed suicide he told me its pry my fault and he cheated on me once, but i think it was from everything i did to him....i can be really cold for no reason... like if its the smallest fight i will put back everything in his face that he's told me that bothers him(...like i told him if i was his mom, i would have left him as a child too). i'll randomly give him dirty looks when i have no reason to. or i'll get mad all of a sudden over NOTHING. i no i do it, but i just can't stop myself.i want to start over with him and tell him things that bother me, like he how can tell me stuff. how do i start over with him???????
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 October 2010):
 Ok its not as simple as starting over because these things have been said by both of you and they will stick in your memory things like this just cant be forgotten, you both have said hurtful things to each other and you need to concentrate on making each other happy not upseting one another.
You obviously have major trust issues and am sorry but this relationship is not going to work out if you dont trust him no matter how much you want to trust him it just isnt going to work so for now i suggest that you take some time to yourself as you need to work on your issues am not saying finish the relationship am just saying you need some space for a while, tell him that you need to get your issues sorted before you can have a happy and healthy relationship.
Once this is done go and book a session with a councellor and talk about all of your problems, old and new ones, tell them about your trust issues and also how you feel and how you take all of your anger out on your boyfriend, they are there to listen to you and help you with your issues and they are also confidential so nobody will know your business.
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