A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay... This has been something that has affected my daily life for almost a year now. I'm fourteen I am a freshman and I start on the varsity basketball team. I have two parents who love me and have never given up on me after the horrible things I have done. I have an all around great life. I've been struggling with depression since sixth grade. I'm told I'm beautiful by many people, but I still have a very low self of steam. It's all escalated since my boyfriend and I broke up in January. Please do not judge me for this, because I assure you I am promiscuous in any way. My ex and I started dating in June. I would be going to 8th grade when school started in august and he'd be going to 10th. So there was quite a gap. Not huge around 2 years, but middle school and high school is like light and day. Anyway, we were completely in love. Together everyday. He made me feel beautiful. But he was very controlling and abusive. It's going to sound a contradiction, but he still treated me great. On our sixth month aniversery we had sex. I valued my virginity and I honestly thought we were going to get married and be together forever, until we fell asleep in my bed and my parents found us sleeping. They forced me to break up with him. I was on lock down and had nothing for a long time. But we promised we'd wait for each other. A week later he had a new girlfriend. It crushed me. Now I see him everyday at school with a different girl on his arm. We were both virgins so we lost it to each other, I haven't been with anyone else, the thought is almost unbearable, and he does drugs and sleeps around.He's nothing like he used to be. He hated guys like that. And he blames me for it. We never talk. He acts like he does know me. But we have mutual friends and they tell me he says I'm the reason he drinks so heavy and smokes weed. I still love him dearly he's so close to my heart, I don't want to love him anymore. I love a guy who isn't real anymore. He used to talk about how much he hated guys who slept with girls and dumped them the next day he couldn't fathom it, but that's who he became. Im pretty sure he loved me but a second guess it a lot. When we dated I lost a majority of my friends because I only wanted to be around him. So I'm left with no one. I'm left with this horrible guilt because it hurt my entire family and it really messed up my ex because I was really the only good thing in his life. I guess what I really want to know is how do I move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for the advice...It really helps honestly it does.To clear some things up for you guys though I was 13 at the time and he was 15. Also I've thought very long about him lying to me about being a virgin. Although things ended horribly and we had our rOugh times he was a fairly honest individual. And you could also tell he had no idea what he was doing. Either he was new or sucked. He was a fairly bad kisser but learned the more we kissed so I feel like it's almost impossible for him to have been as bad as it was if he was more experienced leading me to believe he was a virgin.XOXO thank you. Everything you've said will be on my mind in rough times. " someone better always comes along."
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 November 2011):
 he blames you because he's too childish to accept responsibility for his behavior.... many addicts are like this and in denial.
HIS BEHAVIOR IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
you should have no guilt.. you did what you thought was right. Your parents reacted as best they could.. they love you and want to keep you safe... it does not mean they think badly of you.
mistakes happen.. that's why erasers were invented.....
you have mom and dad who love you and you have yourself.... new friends will come..
and time will heal the wounds....
YOU did NOTHING wrong. he's a coward to blame you for HIS bad choices
...............................
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