A
female
age
30-35,
*xshaunaxx
writes:First of all, let me apologize about his being so long. (it could be longer...)About six months ago, I met "Mike". From the beginning, I had a crush on him. We came to be good friends and one of our mutual friends told Mike that I liked him. Turns out he liked me back. One night, we went to the park and just talked. He said he liked me and would love to date me but couldn't get involved in a relationship at the moment due to personal reasons (it's a very long story and I dont feel like explaining it). So I said I understood and we moved on to become very good friends.Things happened and he ended up having no place to live. So I offered for Mike to live with me if my parents said it was okay. They said yes. So at night, after my parents went to bed, I came to "visit" him. We got pretty physical. Just touching, no sex.About a week after moving in with me, Mike found out he had to move back in with his mom, about 2 hours away. We kept in touch through phone. At first not a whole lot, but after about a week away from each other, we were talking on the phone every night until morning (despite me having school). We did this for about a month to a month and a half. And one night, we almost had phone sex, but his phone was dying so we didnt get to. But our latest conversations had been about sex. He kept reassuring me he really liked me and he kept telling me how much he wanted to see me. We had it all planned out; the next time we saw each other, we were going to have sex. I was [and luckily still am] a virgin and he isn't.Well, one weekend, Mike didnt call and he was very short with me while talking on the internet. So I became kinda worried about him, worried that something was going on where he was living.Eventually Mike came online and told me he needed to tell me that he had a girlfriend. I asked him why because he said he didnt want to be involved with anyone at the moment. He said that they had really "connected". I was crying uncontrollably by this moment, so I told him I had to go and logged off. I had so many questions. So a few days later I got back online and talked to him. I asked him why he chose "Erika" (the new girlfriend) and not me. He said they really connected. So I asked him if that meant that me and him didn't connect. He said we didn't. Again, upset, I logged off.I went through about one or two weeks of being heartbroken and depressed. I just went to school and layed in bed. I had deeply and truly fallen in love with Mike.I started talking to "Dave", of Mike's friends. Dave had told me that he had talked to Mike. He told me he asked Mike what was going on, he thought Mike really liked me. Mike said he never liked me. Then Mike had said I had an extremely nice body but that I was ugly. Mike had told me how beautiful and pretty I was.I have also learned that he had lied to me about almost everything he had told me the entire time I knew him. Mike had made my originally low self-esteem higher than it had ever been. Now it is at an all time low. Also, I am not able to trust anyone. Mike was the one person I trusted most in the world, and he screwed me over. A few weeks ago, two of my best friends had screwed me over also, so this has made matters much worse.So I was pretty much played and used for and entire six months.. All Mike had wanted was sex. And if it wasn't for his new girlfriend, he would have gotten it. My virginity.I think I am finally ready to get back into the dating game again, but I am worried I will ruin things with how difficult it is for me to trust people now. I never want this to happen again.So my question is this: How do I move on from the fact of knowing I was used, played, and lied to just for sex? and Will I ever be able to trust anyone again?Some more things: I am 15 (almost 16), Mike is 17 (almost 18). I know I am young and under the Age of Consent while Mike is over it, and I know I probably handled things in a very stupid manner so please don't point that out.Thank you in advanceshauna
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female
reader, korculan queen  +, writes (3 March 2008):
When a guy says that they connect with a girl he is talking about CHEMISTRY AND ATTRACTION. You may be a beautiful girl but by the sounds of it he was looking for a girl that was good to go when he wants. Also you saying you have a low self esteem is a big turn off for guys as they can sense it in a woman like a radar and run the other way. You are only 15 years old. I remember how sad and frustrating being 15 is but I also remember the good times with my female friends without the interuption of guys. At your age guys really do not know what they want other than to have sex. They have no way of connecting on a deeper level past attraction and chemistry ie lust and are purely driven by their hormones. Mind you not all 15 year old boys are like this and you will get through this when you find your inner peace and inner happiness. You need to be happy within yourself before others will find happiness with you. You craved attention and he gave it to you giving you an ego boost then dumping you when he couldn't keep up his act. Look deep within your childhood to work out where your need to be accepted and noticed by males comes from? What is your relationship with your father? Do you have to really try hard to get his attention or is he overly critical of you making you try harder to get him to accept you? How you react to guys now and in the future comes deep down from your response and interaction with your first male role model.
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