A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am on summer from my first year at university. Last November i started talking to a girl i met several years before when we were both underage. We met at summer camp and kept in touch online. After a few months i saw her changer her picture and was like wow. Started talking to her again and found out she had a crush on me. So after a lot of flirting and sexting she comes to visit me at uni. She was legal at the time btw. We hook up and before i told her that i was a virgin, that was not really a problem and it all went okay. She stayed with me for about 3 days and on the second night we went out drinking with a few mates of mine.We ended up back at the dorms and i was silly and drank too much and passed out. The next thing i know its 5 am and she is banging on my door to be let in. Didn't think too much about it at the time and she left the next morning. Then my friend told me that he slept with her. I got mad. It hurt because i trusted her. So i lost my virginity and was cheated on in the same 72 hours. I don't talk to any of them now. Tried to focus on uni. But its now June and i still feel like i'm not over it. It makes me so angry and hurt every time i think about it. I could have hooked up with other girls and even had a really nice girl interested in me but i kept her at arms length as i felt like i could not trust anyone.What can i do i need to move on but i just feel stuck and its coming up to a year.Thanks for reading my rant i guess any perspective will be helpful.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2013): Well, not to be harsh, but you perserved your virginity, then unleashed it without being in a relationship and are now surprised that it didn't last? I can understand you're hurt, but the outcome was predictable. Unfortunately, this is the new age of sexuality. Monogamy is not the norm, unfortunately, as people view sex with the same simplicity they view kissing. This younger generation and their high levels of promiscuity sickens me.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (14 June 2013):
You didn't get cheated on, you slept with a permiscuous girl. There's not really a lesson to learn here, except maybe don't expect much from someone just because they have sex with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2013): You've had your first sexual experience and it didn't turn into a relationship. She wasn't really your girlfriend, and she had a right to be with whomever she chooses.You were not in a committed relationship with her, although you may have shared something special together. Don't totally blame her. Everyone was drinking; and that's what intoxication leads to. Your studies will help you to absorb the trauma. You will meet other girls. Focus on school. That's what you're there for.Now you have learned that you can't attach your feelings to someone; until you know they are truly committed to you.Your inexperience lead you to believe her attraction was love. Now you know it wasn't. You will not fall in love with everyone you are attracted to; nor will every girl attracted to you want you as her boyfriend.You are now a man. Therefore; you must handle the situation as an adult, and move on.
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