A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey all,I need help or in fact, words of encouragement and talking some sense into about dealing with when a guy doesnt call. The last guy I was dating when things started going wrong I ended up having the most awful panic attacks and anxiety and that is something I do not want to go through again as it was awful and messed up alot of stuff...so this is being prepared / strong in advance to face the worst case scenario if that makes sense.I went out and met this guy, everyone was drinking and having a good time. Despite him being a model with one of the top agencies in the world, he told me I intimidated him because I was very beautiful and he wont normally know what to say to a girl like me. But throughout the day he was saying quite nice, complimentary things. But of course, I am not going to let that influence me as alot of alcohol was involved.In the end I lost my friends and ended up stranded because I missed the last train. A taxi would cost me a fortune so he offered I stay at his, I would never ever go back to a guy's place like that and never had a one nighter etc. But cos of the situation I went along with it, I was also quite drunk. Anyway, we slept on the same bed but I was adamant I wont have sex with him...he did try but it didnt happen. We had alot of cuddles and kisses though...I mean, I dont know if that reflects badly on my character to do such a thing...but hey, its too late now and like I said, it is not something I would ever do.The next day, we woke up and had more cuddles and kisses for a few hours before leaving. When he was about to go he kissed me goodbye and asked if I had his number and to call him...I said, no you have my number so if you want to see me again and hang out, then you call me (I had made a rule to myself that i aint chasing no guy...forget modern times etc, but it is just my choice - if a guy truly wants me then I believe he will call / come after me...I wont be having to chase / call him etc for that first date) Anyway so he smiled and said something like "Ok see you around" and left.Of course I have not heard from him since...and whether I do or don't who knows. But like I said, I am not going to call him...if he was genuinely interested then I am sure he would have called me by now.So my question is - how do I manage to stay strong or those rational thoughts to help me get through a guy NOT calling? I am trying my best to be strong and think positive thoughts etc, but I cant help that I keep thinking about him so much - it is really quite annoying if anything!! And I sooo dont want to be focusing so much on this situation (or situations like this if they occur in the future) So if anyone has pep talks, wise words of wisdom, dutch courage etc to share with me for my trials to not start taking it personally or getting upset or feeling panic attacks etc UNTIL I do find the right one, please let me know!!Thanks! x
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female
reader, Shiro  +, writes (20 July 2010):
Keep yourself busy,try not to think about him not unless you both had the forbiden fruit.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): I know the feeling. You are doing everything right. You don't have one night stands, you don't call first. True, if he was into you he would call you.
Out of 100 guys that you 'll meet may be just a few will be interested enough to call you. It has nothing to do with you, this is just how it works in a world where there are so many of us, where communication between people so much changed. With all the texting and e-mails, where people actually have no need to meet w/each other. Men and woman both became so ignorant and don't stand behind their words. They make promises that they don't keep, they make dates that they forget about.
This model guy meets so many girls every day of his life, that he can't keep track of any of them.
The golden rule of life "LESS IS MORE" doesn't apply to this life anymore. People end up at the end lonely because of too many choices they have.
All you need to do is not to take it personally. It has nothing to do with you. You are doing everything right. You feel anxious because you expect them to act you would imagine a guy to act to a girl that he liked. They don't, because they turn around and another girl is texting,another girl is willing to have a one stand, another girl is e-mailing. There are dating sites that offer millions of single women. Too many choices, to little time.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (20 July 2010):
 Alcohol or not, his words got to you, or you wouldn't be writing this.What happen to the rule to yourself about chasing a guy?? Did that go out the window the moment you kissed him?You sound very smart, and wise yourself. So maybe you need to listen to the inner you more. Plus you did the best thing by not sleeping with him. If you did, and he didn't call...yeah, that's where you would be right now.In the wild, with all the animals...have you ever seen the female hunting the male, nope. She walks the walk, leaves her scent, or roars "COME HERE BOYS".His lost, someone elses gain. When the right guy gets you, look back at this and say "Dumbass".He may be a model on the outside, not the inside.
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