A
female
age
51-59,
*ioletSparkle
writes:So, for more than one year I have this little crush for a guy, he is a good person, I see that he helps people when he can, he is really interesting and I find him very sexy too (but I can totally contain myself) - one thing of this guy, that I felt immediately, he is a womaniser, today a nice older lady after she saw us talking for a long time felt completed to make a joke about menage a trois and his ex wife and ex lover (!). Right now I am very much focused on having a real relationship with someone compatible, emotionally available and no history of cheating, but I would really like to be friends with this guy, because he is one of the most interesting persons I have met in the last years, and even if he is no boyfriend material I wish we could exchange at a creative level (we are artists). I am not a woman of the world and am very bad at dealing with men, how can I manage to make him interested in me as a person and not as just another easy lay? (also I am really not easy at all, and I am determined never to sleep with him) Apart from telling straight away that I am not going to sleep with him, I can also tell him that I don't see him that way but he already caught him looking at him admiringly (I can admire, but not touch, if you see what I mean) so he knows I like him. Any suggestions?
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crush, ex-wife, his ex, womaniser Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2018): You're judging the guy, but you want to be friends?
Don't mess with guys you can't handle.
You're full of contradictions. Your crush is in conflict with your objectivity. You don't know how to be friends with a man. It's actually very simple.
Just be friendly and block his flirtations. Don't be easily flattered, and behave like an adult. If your crush is out of control, have nothing whatsoever to do with him.
If you want to network with someone on an artistic or professional-level; keep it distant, professional, and relative to work and your common-interests. Don't flirt, don't discuss intimate things, and don't send signals that you want him.
Judging him on a personal-level about his personal-life is none of your business. If you don't like that about him or what he stands for; then stay away from him.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (6 February 2018):
 You knew what he was when you picked him up. Try not to be surprised when you get bitten.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (6 February 2018):
Just all him to do something with you. Keep it friendly the whole time and avoid putting yourself in a situation where you may be tempted or he may get the wrong idea. Invite another friend, if possible..
When the "event"is over just call it a night without making a big deal out of it.
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