A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend are planning on doing it and i want to make it as good for her as it would be for me. I heard that it hurts like realllly bad so i just want to know if there's anything that would help it feel better if not almost completely take away the pain of her first time. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2016): How old are you two? Im 17 and I had sex with my boyfriend of 3 years... ALWAYS USE CONDOMS AT LEAST! I wouldn't recommend using the pill as the effects may sustain for a long time so conceiving might be a problem in a future. However, there's the morning after pill if you prefer that. BUT AT LEAST USE CONDOMS! BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY!
Anyways... my advise is take it slow, dont jump into sex right away. Make sure shes okay at all times and stop if she's in pain or if either of you are uncomfortable.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2016): Andie has given good advice, a tad heavy-handed and overwrought, but good.Unless either of you had an STI then there is no need for condoms during oral sex as they will just ruin the mood for that and taste like latex anyway.For penetration, yes, a condom at least will be necessary until your girlfriend is on the pill and takes it properly, missing even one or taking one at the wrong time can reduce effectiveness drastically.I would advise not using candles as you are trying to make love, not burn down the freaking house.And forget what you have seen in porn, whilst some of thise things can be very pleasurable, sex is not generally like that.Explore each other. Dim the lights, have some soft music on and spend a lot of time getting to know each other physically before penetration.A female needs to be lubricated down there to gain any real pleasure and make damn sure you know where the clitoris is and that is ground zero for sexual for a girl.Kiss each other. Massage each other. Go slow, there is no need to rush things. Quickies are great fun, and they have their place, but losing your virginity is not one of them.And above all... don't stress yourselves. The first time isn't gonna be that super magical experience you have been convinced it should be... unless you are one of the rare few for whom it is. So even if it is kind of ordinary, nice, but not super racy or magical, remember... good sex takes practice and communication and a while for the both of you to discover what you enjoy. And that's okay... because the practice is awesome.And I cannot stress this enough... foreplay. Do no skimp on that. Do that right and your partner will practically beg you to go further when she's ready. See to her pleasure and she will aure as hell see to yours as well, that's what it's all about.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (13 October 2016):
 My first response is the advice, but I'd like to know how old you both are and how long you've been together? If one of you is under 16, or you haven't been together for at least 6 months, please don't do it yet.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (13 October 2016):
Go to the doctor together - if you can't do that, you're not ready for the responsibility of safe sex.
Get condoms, don't do anything without one - not even oral - and change it between penetration and oral. Have your girlfriend get put on birth control and ask how long before it takes full effect. You won't be having sex for a few months, as the pills need time to kick in. This is why it's important to go to the doctor together.
Get some candles and keep them in candle glasses, to avoid anything catching fire.
Get a massage oil to massage each other and water-based lube, to help ease everything.
Don't go straight to sex. Stroke each other and find out what she likes (shoulder kisses, playing with her hair, etc.) before even removing underwear.
Then just be very gentle and both go slowly. If one of you doesn't want to do something, don't do it.
If either of you want to stop, even if you're right in the middle of it, stop.
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