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How do I make sure my husband doesn't cheat again?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 November 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 24 November 2011)
A female Lesotho age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i am married for 2 years now. my husband has been cheating me.when i confront him he seems remorseful.what do i do to make sure he doesnt cheat again?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2011):

There's simply nothing you can do to ensure he doesn't cheat on you, short of becoming a prison guard and monitoring his every move 24 hours a day for the rest of your life. So dont' even go down that road. If you're going to stay married to him then you have to learn to trust him again. If you can't trust him (and no one will blame you if you can't, most people who've been cheated on can't ever trust their partner again) then you should reconsider if you should stay married to him or not because a marriage filled with distrust is worse than no marriage at all.

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A female reader, daniellexxxx United Kingdom +, writes (23 November 2011):

daniellexxxx agony auntTheres nothing anyone can do to stop there partner from cheating. If there going to cheat they will.

But for a person to cheat my oppinion is there either not happy or not feeling very loved in the relationship.

By all means everyone deserves a second chance but if he does it again kick him out and divorce him you dont deserve that.

Good luck x

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (22 November 2011):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntThere's not a darn thing you can "do" to "... make sure he doesn't cheat again."

What you CAN do is remind him that the NEXT TIME that he cheats on you will be the LAST TIME that he cheats on you... then stand by that statement.....

Good luck....

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (22 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntIt's not your "job" to "make" him not cheat again. You didn't MAKE him cheat before.

If you two get some counseling maybe you can both work past it, however, it's on him whether he cheats or not.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2011):

What do you do to make sure he doesn't cheat again? I hate to say this, but he will cheat again...men who cheat are insecure and usually have low self esteem....it really doesn't have anything to do with you, unfortunately it impacts you the most because he has betrayed you, broken your trust in himetc. You've been married for two years and he's already been cheating on you..... he is remorseful because he got caught...if he valued himself, you and your marriage, he would not have done it in the first place. If you are determined to give this a shot, I would advice therapy with a professional for him...and when the therapists feels HE's ready, then couples therapy...he has a lot to do to make up for this, and you should not accept anything less, or dump him like a bad habit and find another who will respect you. Respect yourself and don't let him get away with this. I can't remember who says this... "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior"

I'm sorry this has happened to you, and I hope you can figure it out. There is NOTHING you should have to do to stop him from cheating. When he married you, he took vows and HE is the one breaking them. If he was a REAL MAN, and for whatever reason he wanted to be with other women, not married, whatever, he would let you go FIRST, and then go do his single thing...but he chose to behave this way while he was married.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (22 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntthere is NOTHING you can change to make sure he does not cheat... other than make him NOT your husband.

did you ask him why he cheated?

is there something he said you did?

are you happy?

do you think the marriage is good?

is it worth saving?

why do you want to stay?

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