A
female
age
30-35,
*exuallyfrustrated
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and I took his virginity. I have only had sex with one other person. When we have sex he cums in a minute or two the first time. Then we do it again and he lasts for about ten minutes and then he can do it again and again. He can seriously cum like 5 times. But I get frustrated because the first time he cums I wont want to have sex again and he will get frustrated. Im trying to turn myself on and get my labido going but I havent been able to have an orgasm lately. Im on birth control and I know it can lower you sex drive. Do you have any advice for me? like what type of things I need to do to turn myself on?
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 September 2010):
I know when I went on birth control my ability to orgasm went completely out the window, and when I stopped the pill, my orgasms came (haha) back! My libido seemed about the same, but those orgasms were gone... So make sure that isn't the culprit.
As for the sex thing, you seem to be relying too much on penetration for your orgasm. Very few (around a quarter) of women can orgasm this way. Make sure you have a lot of foreplay ahead of time. Try getting really close before he even enters you. Use your fingers, his fingers, his tongue, anything that gets you going. Can you orgasm from masturbation? Show him how you like it by putting your hand over his and guiding it. Once you do have sex, make sure you're in a good position for adding those hands in there (you on top is generally the best for your orgasm). Make sure you add in those fingers while having sex! And have him stop before he cums. Have him get close then take a break and pleasure you. Don't just have him pound away until he finishes. If he can hold off and take those breaks it will not only let you finish, but give him a way more intense release. Everyone wins.
A
female
reader, Gymnast_in_love +, writes (14 September 2010):
Hmm, well maybe you can talk to your boyfriend. Sometimes my boyfriend needs help, or I need help. Its normal. For him its a certain way we kiss. For me I like when I get my neck kissed. You just have to find your turn on spots. And have more forplay. If there are things that turn you on that he doesn't normally do, ask him to do them. Also, if nothing else works, there's masterbation. If you are about to have sex, maybe you should go to the bathroom, and get yourself worked up a little before.
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