A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need advice on how to make my mates at university understand that my work has to come first for these last 3 weeks and nights/days out for me is out the question at the moment.I love my nights out and anytime with the lads is banter, but I have too much work and it's more of a priority than going on a night out and not to be rude, but more than them. They said they understand I can't go out as much these few weeks, but they wont understand that it's a not at all. If I go out, then I usually find sometime the next day, or two is wiped out because i'm exhausted from the night out and haven't slept well so I don't do any work. Or i'm nervous i'll get ill and I can't risk that. Now, they're pissed because I don't go out in the day either and complaining that I never see them anymore. But they don't realise how very, very intense my course is and I need the whole day to work! Of course i'd love to be a student who could balance both, but I can't for this assignment, there's a lot of work!! As much as I want to go down the beach, for drinks, or chill in the sun with them, I find that an hour or two turns into an all day thing. But they're complaining saying I should take a break, or why am I being so boring and simply can't understand how important my university work is to me right now. I just need them to respect my decision and back off for the next 3 weeks! Any advice on what to say or do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2013): Stick to your guns. You are a committed and responsible young man. You know how to set your priorities. Bowing to peer pressure will only make catching up on your studies that much more difficult. Including the fact that too much partying has a negative effect on you.These guys have a lot of time on their hands; and their attempt to distract you; is only because you're making them look bad. When friends hinder you from doing what is right; then you give them a break, and start making new friends. You apologize for not being able to hangout at certain times, and you leave it at that. No further explanation is necessary. They know exactly what is going on.Good friends understand. There will be vacation time and holidays to catch up. Don't forget to allow yourself time for rest and relaxation to avoid burnout. You still have to allow yourself scheduled timeout from work and studies to refresh, recharge, and stay healthy. That doesn't include drinking and partying to unreasonable hours, as your friends advocate.Stay on course. Ignore the pressure to do otherwise.
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