A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i love a girl whos a few years older than me she has no feelings for me but i definitely love her ive never felt this way about anyone will it go away help please? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2014): Yes, the feelings will go away. The heart and the mind may struggle. If you want something really badly, you are reluctant to give it up. The spirit desires more what we are denied. Our ego is severely damaged when we are rejected; and our desire is stressed to the limit when we know what we want is out of reach.
Your conscious-mind has been informed and acknowledges that she has no feelings for you. Being intelligent, we superficially acknowledge the facts "intellectually" as they are presented before you. The subconscious-mind is harder to convince.
The subconscious-mind did a lot of work getting you to the point of feeling how you feel toward her. It made chemical changes to attach and connect to this person. It produced endorphins to make you feel good in her presence. It set it's sites on there being a future, and filled your head with all the possibilities.
The problem with the subconscious, is that it is not easily changed or convinced. It doesn't matter what the ears hear and the eyes see. It is quite stubborn. It has to "reverse" everything chemically and emotionally that it initiated and processed automatically. That's a slower process. You don't have a pause and rewind button. That is the hardest part about being human. All our natural healing processes are slow. Oh, you can get attached pretty quickly. Why? Because the subconscious-mind works around the clock and without permission.
It allows you to feed it ideas, but it takes it's own time to process them. That's why we need therapists, counseling, prayer, faith, and fortitude. We have built-in tools of survival that go to work to change the subconscious-mind or to reset it.
Through reason; we calculate, analyze, and turn facts into logic. The emotions often distort the facts. Thus the inner-struggle begins. We can't let go.
Intellect sorts out the realities. Then it gives it to the subconscious-mind; which believes you love her, at all costs and will not give up hope. It wants to hold out for any sign of her changing her mind. It creates false-hope. You'll cling to any shred of hope. Even when the facts are irrefutable. It is holding out for a sudden turn of events. Just in-case. Even if it has to lie to you, and it does.
Once the subconscious-mind accepts the futility that she does not love you, and you cannot change that. It will release you and free you. "Resistance is futile."
My friend, it takes time and determination to accept the truth. To allow the truth to penetrate the deeper part of yourself in denial; because its hard to accept her rejection. When you feel she is all you ever wanted. It clobbers the ego, assaults your emotions, and hurts with indescribable pain. The subconscious-mind decides when you've had enough. It then decides to eradicate the source of your pain. It soothes you with the knowledge that you can move on, and find something better. You accelerate all these processes when you accept the truth. Denial prolongs the pain. Grief must have time to dissolve your pain associated with the loss. Anything of value taken away from us, creates a sense of loss. We need time to absorb loss. The higher the value, the greater the grief and sense of loss. The longer the recovery time.
It is all a natural human-process. You push and fight your way back, gradually. You put everything you have into getting over her, and keep yourself distracted away from the pain. You work on making yourself feel good. Never allow grief to convince your subconscious; that it is hopeless to love again and to find something better. Then you'll start feeling better and better. Then you reach that point of acceptance, and you move on.
I know how it works, because I've been where you are right now. There is no magical solution. No pill.
Only the healing-effects of the passage of time.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (19 September 2014):
 Ysimply need to focus your energy somewhere else; sports,other girls,computer lasses, reading, go to camp or join a group(chess club, science class groups, something that takes a lot of mental acuity)
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