A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Hi, so like all of you i got a problem i just can't deal with it. In september 2012 i meet a girl on fb that i had in friends list like a year allredy but never bothered to talk to her as i dident really like the idea to talk to someone on fb nor did i want to spend time on the computer. So she sayed hi and we started chatting for a hour till i said bye and went out ... so the next day i sended her first while i on fb before going to school. when i came back she did reply and wos on so we chated till 2 or 3 am. so the connection between us grew and we started to talk every day... after one month we talked the whole day when i went to school in the morning she wos on and when i came i waited her till 5 pm and when she came we talked till the mornings or so and this wos every day till november when we argued about something stupid and werent talking for a month. i liked her allot till now and we said before the argue when she comes for the summer in east europe we will meet ... so one month we dident talk and then happend something wierd ... i had a serious car accident and i should died but i dident. a miricle ... my mother came to the hospital and brought me my phone all broken and since i wos in hospital and couldent sleep i managed to fix it. i went on fb and texted her im sorry about that and all and she replied that she also wos sorry and that it wos stuppid. so we started chatting again allot and when i came back home i dident go to school like a month and she also had 1 week holidays, 1 week wos sick and a week to prepare on her exams ... so we talked like crazy i dident go from my house since november .. never went out becouse it wos so fun talking with her i dident need to go out but my friends wos asking me whats the problem so i said i cant becouse of my head and back still hurting ... it wos like she it here and i started to love her even more but something happend.since the argue idk but i think she is still mad on me and acted wierd so i asked why she acts so silly and she first said her grandma died, then she wos sick every week and so it wos really wierd from my view...one day we argued again becouse of this but in 2 days she messaged me and started talking again but this time it wos like she is ignoring me with no-limit,.. she just texted with me when i sayed something she said hahah or ok hah, also we went on skype allot but now she allways said she was sick and she dont want me to see her like this.. so last time we were talking about something and she sayed you man are some dickheads but that im the worts of them ... so i asked why and she said u think im not going to remember how u acted with me and .... and i sayed that im really sorry that i never ment that and im glad she sayed to me she dident like my attitude and she went off so in the morning i again said im sorry and she just dident repply anymore so i said ok so il wait.. and i waited one, two, three days but nothing and im so sad about that .. really made me misserable.. in school i dident think about her so much mabe 2-3 times sometimes more but at home it hitted me the most the first day i wos like okey she will reply, the second day i wos allredy really sad and on the 3 day i cried.. idk but i never cried even for a girlfriend and i cry for her and we werent even together. also i never cried since when i was 8 so my mother saw me when i went in the garage to cool off so she asked me whats wrong and i said allot of bad words to her .. i never did that ( also in our culture women are respected ) and now my mother doesent talk to me, i dont talk to her, my father and i never talk... and im so angry at school at home .. everyone makes me mad even if the sneeze... she is the first girl i feel like this ever... she has something special inside her, her smile, ... all i ever wanted she has it ... so idk what to do i feel like a piece of shit, i search for a way to make her love me again but idk how i tryed all my best and nothing help .. has anyone a suggestion what can i do ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2014): You can't make someone love you that has never met you.
You are just two people who like chatting over Facebook.
She is not your girlfriend; so she doesn't have to contact you, unless wants to. She is not obligated in any way to stay in-touch with you. She has school and other friends.
Maybe the Facebook romance is all in your head. She just likes to chat with you; but your friendship is starting to wear off. Now she's tired of it. Your silly arguments make you look immature; and that is also a good reason for her to stop contacting you. The arguments make her want to move on.
You have too much time on your hands; because you can't get out. You don't feel well and you're probably taking medicine that makes you cranky. So you take out your anger on everyone around you. You better start being nicer to everyone or you'll be alone.
Spend more time with your friends, and leave her alone. She'll contact you when she feels like it. You will do yourself a big favor by not trying to make her your girlfriend. She lives too far away, and doesn't have those kind of feelings for you.
You need to act more mature. You can't force her to "love" you and she can't love a boy she has never met before. She is young and wants to attend to her schoolwork and have fun with her life. Not sit home keeping you company to wee hours of the morning. She was being nice, but now she may not feel like doing it anymore and may want to meet other boys.
Time for you to be more of a man. Try and get better so you can get out with your friends and get back to school. She is not the reason you are upset. You're stuck at home, sometimes in pain, and she was the one keeping you company.
She needs to be able to go out and have fun. She can't babysit you and pretend to be your girlfriend anymore.
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