A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am rather confused about my current situation. I have been in a long distance relationship with a girl I am very fond of. Unfortunately, it is more or less over - I am ambiguous only because she has stopped answering my emails, theoretically, it could be that she is busy, but I doubt it. Anyway, I am trying to work things out with her, to little effect.Recently, my life became more complicated because I met a girl at my institute who I quickly became friends with. I emphatically say that I want nothing more than friendship with the new girl, in the foreseeable future anyway. The problem is that I occasionally suspect that she is a little attracted to me as she goes out of her way to be around me, and frequently talks/emails me. My question is, how do I maintain a normal friendship with her avoiding drama or romance?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): You avoid drama by chosing a girl who is independent and has her own life and wants to get to know you as opposed to owning ou.
You avoid romance by remaining on a strict friendship basis with a girl, duh......just carry on with your friend as you have been and be aware of her feelings for you and protect her by being respectful and honest and not taking advantage of her if you don't share her feelings/romantic attraction.
I like Daniel's answer though, brilliant.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): But the question is who do you like? Follow your heart. :)
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A
female
reader, cupidhelp  +, writes (11 March 2009):
The question is which girl do you like?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 March 2009):
 You need to analyze yourself more carefully.
I am sorry to say this, but in my opinion the long distance relationship is over. It's just that you haven't accepted that because it hurts.
On the other hand, the girl you met in your institute isn't someone you just want for a friend. If she were, you wouldn't even mention her in this post. If you don't believe me, I can only say that I'm sure you have other female friends, who didn't get mentioned at all.
Break up officially with the long distance girl, and decide whether you want something with the girl at your institute.
Normal relationships are maintained without any drama. As to romance, if it is there, then those are not friendships. I'm afraid you would like to be able to control things. If the long distance girl calls you again, then you will ask the girl at the institute to stay your friend. If the long distance girl doesn't call you, then you will move on to "more than friends". That is unfair. If the girl at the institute likes you, be with her, or let her go, drama, romance or anything.
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