A
female
age
41-50,
*onfused78
writes:I have been in a relationship for 4.5 years, i'm stuck in a dead-end relationship, no future whatsoever.I'm 31 never been in love. i've had really long relationships, but for some reason i don't fall in love. i approach things very logically.I have a friend whom i've known for almost 2 years and we always go out for drinks by ourselves, he's an amazing gentleman, he's always been my dream man, i always refer to him to be the perfect specimen for cloning. we go out, talk all night, have great time, and just go home (he knows my boyfriend too). lately things have been a little different lately meaning the past three days...out of the blue over a funny joke text message, things heated up immediately to heavy duty best sex ever and amazing connection between us (he thought so too! i know if he lies, he's not you can tell during sex) so after the first day, non-stop overnight talking and communication about what happened and how great it was initiated by him, and next day non-stop texting and everything going great no awkward stuff. so he demands to see me again the following night (meaning two nights in a row). and we did and again great everything. for the first time ever it's a dream come true. i am truly in love, i love him so much (i have for almost two years, it was love at first sight things (which i never believed in).i'm ready to break up with my current dead-end-never-saw-a-future-don't-want-to-break-up-cause-he's-a-nice-guy relationship fiasco.i'll do anything for the new guy... what do i do? how do i let him know i want a relationship with him and i want to take things further with him? please help i usually do the advice giving to people, but this one i'm stuck!!sincerely,Confused !
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female
reader, confused78 +, writes (6 August 2009):
confused78 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Gina, i greatly appreciate your answer. it was very helpful and reassuring. Thank you.
A
female
reader, confused78 +, writes (6 August 2009):
confused78 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit seems like i've left some details out (for sake of length) but here are additional information might be considered helpful to the people who are answering.the whole time i've been with my boyfriend 2-3 times a year minimum i complain and remind him we're not advancing anywhere, for god's sake he hasn't had a steady job since i've known him, didn't have a car (it's not NY, california car is essential)i drove everywhere. until i broke up with him a year and half ago he decided to get a used little car (can't even take it to vegas it'll breakdown) but i gave him points for effort. so i went back because at least i saw an improvement, now he's getting comfortable again and i'm tired of being his mommy! he's a very nice guy and all my friends talk me out of it everytime i say i want to breakup with him. the other guy my friend, he has never ever hinted nor have i that we had feelings for each other. but a while ago we were all hanging out and i made a comment how perfect he was and that he should be cloned. right at that moment we just gazed at each other, and it clicked. i guess he was waiting for green light he probably thought i wasn't interested (i'm good at hiding my feelings since i'm the least emotional person ever.) so one thing led to another, i told the other guy i was having way too many arguments with the boyfriend, and it's a dead end and i need to end it. that's when he started to make his move. and just after yesterday, the first night together, he asked me how long am i going to stay with him (my boyfriend) i said it's gonna be over i just have to figure out how to let him down easy. but i don't know i'm confused. i think i should just let the boyfriend go, and take my chances with the other guy. he's just too good to be true. maybe i deserve the too good for a change, never once any of my boyfriends even had a car let alone a normal job, i always support them. i'm tired of it, i'm 31 and i would like to get my life in order. so good karma coming back to me i guess. so Gina, i hope this would shed some more light into the situation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): first of all talk to your current boyfriend and tell him you think you guys aren't working out and that you would like some time to think it over. then ask your male friend where you stand with him. then if he is just toying with you stay friends with both of them and maybe something will happen in the future. hope this helps
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