A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently started dating a man who lives 6-7 hours away from me. We met over the summer in my city when we were both in the same month-long professional development program. He is funny and flirty, but he's like that with everyone. I developed a crush on him but he didn't do anything about it. I found out from a mutual friend that he thought I was too full of drama to date but still wanted to be friends. I was sad because we are from the same culture and I really wanted to be with him.Come to find out that he had a girl back home the whole time. They weren't committed; mostly because he was still recovering from a breakup of a really long relationship (he was dumped) and he says neither wanted it to be a rebound situation. She was dating around in the meantime and he said that he was too. They had some trouble over the summer and I thought I could make my move but nothing came of it.I've seen pictures of her on facebook and she's really pretty with light skin and eyes. I know that is what he is attracted to and he says he feels guilty about it.He ended up going back to her when he returned to their town, but she asked him for time to figure out what she wanted. He seemed sad and decided to fade out of her life, though he still kept in touch. He and I kept in touch as well and I suggested visiting him and he said yes.I went to see him about a month ago and we ended up sleeping together. I put pictures of us from that weekend up on facebook. We didn't make any commitment to one another so I was disappointed but I knew we'd be seeing one another soon and talking on the internet or phone in the meantime.He was still talking to the other girl, but they called it quits after she found out about our weekend together and he told her that something had happened between he and I. He says he told her that he wanted to pursue something with me which made me really happy and her not so happy, I imagine.So now we're dating but I don't feel like I can trust him. How do I know I'm not just a rebound? I'm scared he has real feelings for the girl in his town. I tell him all of the time how much I like him and I'm excited to meet his family because they will like that for once he is with someone from the same culture.Still, it's long distance and I worry he just likes the attention and affection and maybe he just wanted to make the other girl jealous? He seems down and moody since they stopped talking. He still listens to a mix cd that she had made for him. How can I make him see that I'm the one for him? He slept with me and never did with her so doesn't that mean something?
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