A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey!This is a really kind of an intimate question. But I was wondering what female orgasms feel like? I'm sexually active with my boyfriend of 1 year. Masturbating by myself, I find I experience this very intense kind of orgasm that consists of penetrational pressure as well as clitoral. It's kind of like .a deep welled up pulsating spasmy kind of heavy feelingWhen having sex with my boyfriend, I experience female ejaculation usually, however, the feeling is less intense but the climax is quick and easy for me to achieve.Clitoral stimulation done by my boyfriend is usually very slow, difficult process and takes a lot of muscle clenching on my part and focusing very hard to achieve climax but the climax is very similar to when I masturbate by myself and stimulate both penetrationally and clitorally. I find that even though I do ejaculate during sex (g-spot orgasm), it barely feels like a super intense orgasm to me. Am I even having one? I'm very confused since it doesn't feel very intense besides the amount of.. liquid.. everywhere.. lol. Also, I'm wondering why it's so difficult for my boyfriend to give me a clitoral orgasm? He varies his positions, asks me what I like etc. we communicate well but I really cannot orgasm without clenching my vaginal muscles intensely. Furthermore, if I relax my muscles even for a split period of time, I'll lose the progress towards my orgasm and it seems as if I have to start again. Thanks for help in advance!
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ejaculate, ejaculation, muscle, orgasm, period, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 June 2014):
 It all sounds perfectly normal to me.
many women do not orgasm from penetration and many do not orgasm with a partner at all.
I've had over 100 partners in my lifetime and only ONE could consistently bring me to orgasm and then only with oral.
since muscle contraction is part of the orgasm and the tension of the muscles is needed to get there, I understand totally what you mean by losing the progress if you let the tension go.
best advice is to not worry about it at all but to just keep enjoying and experimenting and know that you can enjoy and want sex with your partner even if you don't achieve the orgasm with him. I never orgasm with my current partner but that does not mean I don't enjoy my time with him and it does not prevent him from continuing to try.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 June 2014):
 I'd say instead of a penetrative toy get one that stimulate the clitoris, one with a buzz.
And why is it hard for a guy to give clitoral orgasms to their partner? because they don't know what they are doing. Maybe YOU need to show him how it's done. Or put your HAND on his hand and guide him.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (12 June 2014):
Hi OP…The reason you have better orgasms with yourself and not your boyfriend, is because you have de-sensitize yourself from real sex. When you train your body and clitoris to a certain simulation, you come to expect the same from you boyfriend. If it is not the same as you do, then it will feel less tense and less exciting.
People will proudly tell you masturbation is good for you, but it actually screws up your sex life if done too often…as you can see for yourself.
No hand or toy will ever replace the real thing, and the real deep orgasm from the real thing. Why do you need your hands when your boyfriend has hands? Put that boy to work :)
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (12 June 2014):
 I think it's just a case of keep experimenting. maybe have him stimulate you orally, and use a toy for penetration? or the opposite? It may take some time, but you know what you like when you masturbate, try and re create what you do to climax when on your own.
Good luck :)
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