A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What do you think i should do? I know this man for 7 years. The first 3 were just little talks in GYM and couple coffes at Starbuck. Then we started being very close. We even went out sometimes. The past year we went out few times, and ended up in a car kissing, but that's all.We always were flirting with each other, and every time he touches me i am on fire. All these years we were seeing other people. I had my share of boyfriends, he had his of girlfriends. Mine usually didn't last at all, his went on for long like a year or even 2.He is helping me out now in my small bussiness that i just started without asking for monetary award. He just does it spending his time that he doesn't have for free. We became very very close lately. I think of him all the time.Last time when we went out, we ended up in his house, sitting on a couch, and he said;"How can u do this, just sitting next to me and not wanting to do it.I think it's time already"I really want to take further,but my worries are that he has a habit of dissapearing when he gets very busy. Sometimes it's for a few weeks. Then he calls, or e-mails appologizing for ignoring me. I say, it's ok, of-course. We are just friends for now. What if he acts like that when we become lovers. I am not also sure of his intentions. Is it going to be just friends again who also have sex sometimes. Is he going to see other women? I don't know how to ask him that.The other thing: he is very handsome and charming. Women adore him. He is a smooth talker also. It's o.k., thats why i think i like him too, but i don't want to start anything and being jealous all the time.I am afraid that sex will change significantly what we have now. He is like my best friend who helped me out in difficult times, who i called at 2 a.m. when my mom was dying, who i called at 4 a.m. when i thought my dog is coming to his end, when everytime i had a crapy day at work i can come to his house and he will always be on my side.He always says, that he doesn't want to have a lot of people in his life to be friends with as he is very busy and can't handle anyone in big quantities. Sometimes he can't handle me in big quantities also, but he is always there for me.Sometimes i think if we spend more times together, we would become lovers faster, but that's not what he wants. He has his very hectic schedule with his bussines, and i feel like i am part of his schedule also. It's o.k. now, but if our relationship will change, would i be o.k. just to be fitted into his busy schedule?All these questions... I had so many failed relationships, that i think i wouldn't be able to handle another failed one especially w/him. I don't date anyone for the past 8 months. He doesn't tell me anymore about his dates since the kissing started.What do you think i should do?
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 All you can do really is tell him how you feel. There is obviously a reason why he can't be just for you. Some men don't really want to be committed in a relationship. He must like you for him to be there in your hour of need.
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