A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i'm 19 and recently met a guy the same age (call him Tom), and he seems to take me out alot, but when he asked the questions about my BoyFriends how many i had i just went all quiet cause in fact i haven't had any at all but have liked some one though but that was when i was about 12. I know it probably sounds weird, that at my age i have never had any one in my life but now i have Tom, i want to get sexually active with him but i don't have no experience what so ever and in fact haven't read or heard anything of how to. But before i even go their i wanted tips on how to kiss a guy, i've kissed him once but he done it first not me, and i am not good with these things at all, i feel scared and keep thinking what if i do it all wrong or what if he don't think of me in that way. Another thing i wanted to know if this sounds like he wants to get with me, so i 1st met him at my house he just moved to the neighbourhood asked me out the very same day, i said sorry i'm busy but he said come on please it'll be a nice welcome to the neighbourhood and i go shame to say no so i said Ok he said he'll pick me up and were something really nice, i wore dress, well were he took me was all posh and didn't seem to be the normal type of place, it was like a place were people would go on date too (romantic place) and then dance and anyways he asked me to dance with him after we eat and i didn't really want to but he just got me up and we did but it felt so awkward he put his hands on my hip and back and it felt really bazaar as i haven't been in a relationship at all before, but it felt nice though i can admit, then a couple of days later it was my birthday but i hadn't told him and on my birthay i don't really bother doing anything but he reallly wanted me to go somewere with him, he said it was a buisness party and he had no one to go with him and he would be left out and laughed at but in fact when we arrived to the place it was a party for me, it was soo beautifull, no one had ever threw me a party unless i do it myself but he just made it specail and better, then i was asked to dance and he danced with me i felt like i had known him forever when i hadn't, then later on was enjoying the party and then i was told some one was waiting out side for me, so i went and it was this guy who likes me alot (call him Jack) but i told him i don't before and then but he won't stop stalking me, and he brought me a present and i wasn't really that happy at that point, the reason for me not doing anything for my birthday is because of Jack he always ruins things for me and goes mad and i feel all scared around him, he doesn't like me talking to other people, and he even had gone in jail for harrasing me and not leaving me alone he done some mad things basically, then Tom was coming from behind and Jack goes he's going some one's here and then Tom aksed who that was I told him and he said ok and told me not to worry he won't ruin anything this time and then held my and and took me to the garden of he place were my party was, the garden was so beautifull it had a water fountain and Tom had even got a table, and 2 chairs and music so then we can have dinner together it felt like a dream come true, then another day he was in my bedroom and me and him were just playing around and he kept tingling me and then were playing tag at the same time and i fell back on my bed and he came forward to tingle me and i tripped him and he fell on top of me, and then he kissed me and i did so back. That was one kiss but even though it was one we both stayed the same didn't act weird around each other did the same silly things and i was happy for the first time properly in my life. We went cinema another day and we watched a horror film and i got really freaked out and in a sudden i holded his hand really tight and he didn't mind, then other times we both play with out food like throw it and the other one catches it with their mouth. Every single day when i get out the house, he always comes out at the same time and he walks with me and puts his arm around me and we've hugged. My brother in laws all think me and him are going out but were not, but when they said it i never thought me and Tom would get together but now i'm thinking of asking him to be my boy friend. My brother in laws also say we have alot in common, we suit each other, i deserve him, he's a lucky guy, and i'm a lucky girl. Tom has given me alot of packs on the lips, he touches me alot, eg... arm around me, we hold hands. We do nearly everything together. So my questions aredoes it sounds like he likes me? (to me it does but as i havne't had experience with any one i am not an expert so i really want to make it right not wrong)also how do i tell him i like him? and als him out? or should i wait for him to ask me out? (which i think porbably be on saturay cause he told me to come to his house and make sure am not late and that i have have have too come)How to kiss a guy?(tips,step by step of how to kiss or specail ways to kiss, and what's the best kiss)How to get sexually active with him? (when time comes)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cupidsladyfriend  +, writes (24 April 2008):
The guys out there are going to hate me for this but...
Sometimes if you don't let the man make the first move he might think you are too forward or agressive and he might not like that.
But there are some guys out there who like agressive females.
My suggestion would be since you are 19 and have plenty of time is to spend more quality time with him (like 6-8 months) to see if you and he are really compatible first, and to make sure you won't get your heart broken and he is not the type of person to kiss and run.
Because if he is that type of person you will feel really bad, sad, and used.
So you want to spend a little more time with him, see if he makes you happy, makes you laugh, if you like to do the same types of things. That way, after the sex (if it happens) you will have other things to do together and it won't just be a sexual relationship or a kiss & run relationship. Both types I'm sure you will hate.
To summarize, I think you should wait a little while longer before you give yourself up to someone sexually.
You are 19 and have plenty of time.
A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (24 April 2008):
 Most of it will happen on its own if it's going to happen. You just need to respond when it starts to happen, because if he can't feel that you want it then like many men who are clueless about these things, he won't sense that you really do want a relationship and I think it always feels so uncomfortable to tell someone bluntly that you want them!
The kiss is easy - it simply leads on from when he puts his arm around you (which you said he does a lot) something like this:
Put your arm around him (he's taller than you, right?). Turn, face him. Put your other arm around him. Squeeze - just a little; just enough to tell him you are enjoying being close. Look up at him - straight into his eyes and hold that look. (Lips slightly apart? Maybe too blatant!). Wait. Hold. Press against him, not too much.
He should, eventually, get the signals and kiss you! If he is being particularly clueless, then it will be nothing more than a peck that he has given you before, in which case just hold him and keep looking up at him. The second one should be better, but if the second one doesn't come then it MIGHT be that's it's not what he wants - in which case you might need to re-think. It's unlikely.
So, the first kiss itself. I suggest you don't try to overdo it. Lips slightly apart, but not wide enough to invite his tongue, and don't use yours - not yet. Press and enjoy, and wait for his reaction; and after that just let it come naturally. There's no need to try to make an effort or try to "get it right". Just do what feels comfortable.
And don't be surprised if he reacts in other ways too, but don't comment or react back - not yet. I mean, to put it bluntly, that it wouldn't be at all unusual for there to be a significant bulge appearing in his trousers at this point. It's nothing to be concerned about whether there is or isn't, but it's amazing how many girls are startled or shocked by how quickly men often react in this way! He might back away a little; move his hips back because he's aware of the effect your kiss had on him and embarrassed in case you notice too. That's fine. Again, don't comment or react.
Hum... enough for a start? I'm going to take a cold shower now...
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