A
female
age
36-40,
*abeen
writes:i recently made a friend she's really sweet and caring and i want to keep her in my life because i like going to eat with her, go shopping and watch movies and stuff but i don't want to go to parties with her. she's not very fun and exciting. i don't know how to keep her out of my friends i party with. will it be rude if i do that and how can i make that happen without hurting her feelings? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): What do you mean you don't know how? You just don't invite her such places. She's hardly going to ask can she.
It's not rude at all, I have separate groups of friends that don't really mingle, the only person who mixes with all my friends is my girlfriend. I have college friends I've known for the past 6 years and a big group of childhood friends that have never met each other. I have friends I do MMA with who I keep separate from those too because they just wouldn't get on.
OP you've only recently become friends with her like any new relationship closeness, trust etc. takes time to build. Just get rid of any idea in your head that you're obliged to invite her places that include your friends. You'll probably feel more at ease with them meeting further down the line. If not then no big deal. You can handle more than one social grouping OP, and I find unless the person is a weird loner type she'll have her own social circles and you're not really going to be included in them just yet. Who knows you may think she's boring, she may think you're too abrasive and wild to meet her other friends.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 November 2012):
 I don't think it would be RUDE to try to keep this new (girl) friend separate from some of your OTHER friends.... BUT, I do think it will, ultimately, prove to be stressful, if not impossible....
I expect you'll find there's simply no way you can say to her: "Hunchy-bunchy, I think you're a great girlfriend, but I just can't expose you to my friends... because you aren't sufficiently fun and exciting. BUT, you're still my girlfriend, anyway." Would you find it OK if she said the same thing to YOU?????
Good luck..
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